1: Where have you taught?
I taught at the school of hard knocks. 

2: What have you taught?

I've taught them how to avoid their bookie if they owe money
and how to find their bookie if they are owed money.

3: What are your career goals?

To be the the master of time and space.

4: If you were to redesign CS 1 from scratch what would a good language be to use?

English.

5: What is their view of group projects?	

I like them. It teaches them an invaluable skill:
how to cheat off of the smartest person in the group
and pass it off as your own work. 

6: Do they place importance on good writing/expression, and how? 

Understand the question I do not.

7: How comfortable are you working with others? 

Will they do most of the work?

8: How comfortable are you working with TAs?

If they mow my lawn and get me coffee, I am very comfortable working with them.

9: Some students are brand new to computing, others have had lots of prior exposure.
How to you deal with that? 

Fail them all and let God sort it out.

10: How do you get students attention?

Fire off a gun to wake them up.

11: What if a student contacted you the night before an exam asking for a whole lot of help- what would you do?	

This is why I have Caller ID.

12: A student says "why do I have to learn discrete math if all I want to do is program?" 
What is your response?

Fuck You.

13: What do you like about teaching? What don't you like about teaching?	

Like: Seeing a student cry in my office after getting a bad grade.

Dislike: Seeing a student get a degree and earn twice my salary.

14: Is there anything you would like to ask us?

Do you do random drug tests or are they announced?

15: Uh, anything else you wantto ask?

When do I start?