Transcribed by David Samuel Barr

"The Twelve Days of Christmas (The Game Plan to Beat Miami)"
[adaptation by Santoni-Rosmini-Jacobs; Warner Bros. Music (ASCAP)] 
The Monday Morning Quarterback with the Grossmont High School Pep Band
Produced by Ron Jacobs
Warner Bros. Records WB 7664  [released 1972]

On the first day of Christmas, old Dandy gave to me
The game plan to beat Miami.

On the second day of Christmas, The Giffer says to me,
"I'll lay a fin on that game plan to beat Miami."

On the third day of Christmas, George Allen gave to me
His Larry Brown, plus Giffer's fin,
And my game plan to beat Miami.

On the fourth day of Christmas, Muhammed says to me,
"Hope I ain't rude, Jan Stenerud, he's just a dude, 
And he's guaranteed to get three."

On the fifth day of Christmas, guess who comes up to me?
Big Ray Nitschke.
Jan Stenerud, Larry Brown, plus The Giffer's fin
And the game plan to beat Miami.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my sponsor says to me:
...and you won't believe this... "Griese's not playing."
No kidding.  The insolence of office never ceases to amaze me.  Never.
Big Ray Nitschke.
Jan Stenerud, Larry Brown, plus The Giffer's fin
And the game plan to beat Miami.

On the seventh day of Christmas...And here let me digress for a moment,
and tell you about one of the most fantastic trading coups ever pulled
in the history of professional football.
I not only acquired Gene Washington, I got the other Gene Washington
as well, and they'll be a great help
In my game plan to beat Miami.

On the eighth day of Christmas the swindling continues.
This time I get Ronnie Johnson out of the Giants,
The Rams cough up Merlin Olsen, a perfect complement for 
Big Ray Nitschke.
Jan Stenerud, Larry Brown, plus The Giffer's fin.
That's the game plan to beat Miami.

Days numbers nine, ten and eleven: hectic ones.
But then, surprise among surprises,for reasons unknown to this reporter,
Dwayne Thomas, the brillant but troubled running sensation says he's
considering showing up.
So now with maybe Dwayne Thomas, I need a quarterback, the best in the
business.  I call the bars in Manhattan searching for Joe Willie Namath.
Can I find him in time?  We've gotta have Joe Willie today.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, I find my Joe Willie.
He's not been drinking.
Could beat Dwayne Thomas.
(No, he's still thinking.)
Olsen and Johnson,
Gene and Gene Washington,
Jan Stenerud,
Larry Brown,
Big Ray Nitschke.
Yeah, but even so, a guy like Shula never blows,
So I'll take the Dolphins by 3.