  Remember that utterly asinine letter Student Loans sent Kurt? Worst-Case Scenario has offically set in. Kurt has been denied a student loan, unless he can produced written proof that someone will front 2 500 dollars. Also, there's a clock on the situation; act too late and Student Loan won't care if he has twice that amount. The plan of attack is again appealing to the university for funds in the form of bursaries. Also, it has been recommended he go speak to the Dean of Arts, see if he can muster support, or see if the dean has any suggestions on this impending financial doom. Kurt's marks are superduper, he's got a fair shot at it. He's not worried; he's going to classes, letting his profs know his situation, and handling all of this exceedingly well.
I, unsurprisingly, am not. I can't help but wonder what the fuck we were thinking when we came out here. True, we did not anticipate this shit unloading on us by the metric ton; but we knew it wasn't going to be Saturday morning cartoons or a day at the beach. I was delusional to a certain extent, though; I really thought that I would have, keep, and excell at a job that might help pay the bills.
Maybe even go back to school. Alas, I am not provider extraordinare, in fact, I feel, with daily increases, that I'm more of a liability than anything else. I can't even drive the car during the day - I panic. Nor can I go out in public; like the grocery store during peak hours, and more recently, the movie theater has been scary. And that's newfound frosting on the stale cake of my illness. There are the old standby symptoms of overwhelming grief; ailments that can only be attributed to psychosomatics.
Self-mutilation. New fucked-up symptoms happen monthly. Yeah, I'm an excellent canidate to provide for our little family. Kurt hasn't stopped believing in me, though. I rather wish it were contagious. I could do with a nice solid dose of self-belief. Minako and Granger - I hope you feel better soon. 
