  I got this scam,  er,  e- mail in my ol' hotmail box the other day.  It goes as follows.  The crappy editing and the misspelled words are not going to be fixed,
 i must share all my joy with you.  THe subject was " Let's Talk On Messenger"  I want to talk to this fella,  i really do.  Kurt figures even talking to the person is a large security risk,
 and so,  I'm going to bow to my sissy husband's wishes and leave all my asshole questions in my head.  Sigh.  Anyways,  here is this piece of comedy:  Attn.
 GENDER From: Barr:  GABRIEL ARO ,  ( Gabito Chambers and Solicitor)  59 Rue Boulevard Djankasse,
 B. P. 50214,  Lome- Togo.  As it may interest you to know,
 I got your impressive information through the business directory at chamber of commerce and Industry here in Lome- Togo,  where I was searching for a good reliable contact which I will entrust this business oppurtunity into its control,  I was elated when I saw your address, and I picked a keen interest with confidence to solicit for your help in executing this oppurtunity. However,
I was moved to contact you base on the present situation of this oppurtunity which I may say that it is God given time offer,  their is a foreigner who lived here in Lome- Togo long ago called Arthur Billings by name, and it happened that the man registered to me as his private personal attorney, unfortunately the man died with his wife and their two kids in plain crash which happened on 30th October,  1999.
 Owing to the death of this man called Arthur Billings by name, his bank called on me for his balance with the bank as his attorney since January 2000, to invite his relatives to come and claim the money, I tried all I could to trace his family, but all my efforts proved arbortive, then from october last year 2003,
till now, the bank has been pressurising me to look for his family because they realise that a lot of swindlers have been forwarding application to claim the money as his next of kin, but it happen that after much verification, they will find out that those people were rogues, because they cannot provide a legal evidence to prove that they were his bonafide relatives.  Moreover,
I have decided to use you as his next of kin to claim the money for my own personal use as it happen that his relatives were not available up till now, and I have all his documented memo in my file which will back you up before the bank as his next of kin, I will still obtain a genuine legal evidence which I will do with your name to certify that you are the rightful next of kin to the deceased.  Furthermore, the amount involved is ( 8 000.
000. 00)  EIGHT MILLION United State Dollars, therefore I will like you to furnish me with your full name and address ,  which I will use to secure the legal documents, as soon as I receive your address,
I will form an application which you will submit to the concerned bank as his next of kin. Be rest assured that their is no risk involved as I have perfected and made the neccessary arrangements to back you up in claiming the fund.  Finally, you have to maintain the high secret this business demands as the bank does not know that I am using you to claim the money on my own, besides, I will compensate you with 25%
 of the total money for your help and assistance, and I will like to invest my own part of the money in your country base on your advice. Therefore you can now forward the address and your full name, and I will furnish you with the application as soon as you reply this mail.  Thanks as I await for your reply.  Best Regards,
 BARR. GABRIEL ARO.  It's a little hard to follow,  eh?  If you didn't get all the way through,  i fully understand.
 Here's the sum up.  Guy will give me 25%  of eight million if i lie and tell the authorites I'm a dead person's long lost relative.  The question I'd ask him would be first and foremost how he got my email address.  I'm relatively low on spam,  and yeah,
 I'm curious.  How many people actually fall for this sort of mess,  i wonder?  Heh.  Wouldn't it be funny if i was the guy's long lost relative for real?  There's a stupid short story in there,
 i know it.  Kurt's been all student- y and doing lots of work the past while,  so I've not had much of a chance to work.  I cringe to think what this paycheck will be.  I'm seeing getting caught up with the bills a more distant goal than it was.
 Eh.  Well,  I'm not dead,  anyhow.  Speaking of which,  Bassiedoc tells me I'm 'cured' -
 I'm not depressed any more.  Of course,  I still have to take my crazy pills and meet with her,  allbeit every three weeks instead of every week or two.  I keep on thinking that a person who sees me for an hour for a period of a couple months is probably not the best person to be assesing my day- to-
day mood.  Sure,  I do feel better.  But the moment I think I've got this beat,  I have a tendancy to end up in the emergency room,  trying desperately to push up daisies.
 It's good to hope.  But I think it's too big a risk to put all my marbles in Bassiedoc's basket -  I have heard this before.  As for knitting -  fuck the backstitch right in the ear.  I'm terrible at it.
 Maybe the one needle loopy thing is simpler.  That,  or bite the bullet,  and take lessons from someone extremely patient.  I've started to write in a hardcover journal again,  I hope this means an end to the constipation i've been feeling towards writing.
 Feast or famine,  though,  i bet when i do start writing creatively again,  it'll be diarhhea.  With a spell checker.  Tune in next time for the "
people suck"  rant.  For homework,  watch '28 days later'.  Yes it is a zombie movie.  But it's the best damn zombie movie I've ever seen.
