  I've been in a semi-comatose state for a few days now. When I have been awake, I've been reading Tolkien, and comic books, and debating whether or not to get a cane. There's also been a fair bit of moaning and wailing, for it feels as though i've been beaten repeatedly, but got no bruises to show. Some great headaches stopped by, and i remain entirely grateful that no matter the inconvenient and piss offs work has given me, I can still work from home, in my pjs, with a hot water bottle. Lucas. Arrggghhhhhh.
That dog drives me crazy! He's seven, so you'd think that he was a nice, sober, respectable member of society. For the most part you'd be right, but when he's not he's revolting. He eats garbage. He doesn't have the opportunity to do this all the time. But sometimes, due to forgetfulness, we'll leave a garbage back on the kitchen floor, instead of disposing of it.
When we return, he's hiding somewhere and a luxurious carpet of offal is waiting for us. Sometimes it's spread to other rooms. I have no idea why he keeps doing it - my only hypothesis is that his stomach overrides his brain on these occasions. Ok. So I tell him he's bad make loud noises, and other sorts of things, he gets a rap on the behind and gets sentenced to the bad dog corner. Months pass, and i leave garbage accessible.
And we repeat the previous. Annoying enough, but there's something else that he's been taken to doing that's worse, and I'm not sure how long he's been at it. He eats kitty poop. Kurt and i slowly figured it out, and we decided to set a trap for him to see if he does. The litter box is in the bathroom, the safest place from Lucas because he hates water, and loud noises, and loathes getting bathed. But it's dark and quiet and far less likely he'll be bathed when we're not home.
Kurt fixed the litter box so if he slimed into the bathroom, he'd cause the door to shut, and shut himself in there. That, we supposed, would be a good punishment. Alas, it was not to be. That little shit eater has locked himself in twice. This last time, though, we locked him in, soaked him, and booted his furry butt outside. I think if it occurs again, he's getting his mouth washed out with soap.
That's it for my excitement; a shit eating dog. 
