  The following is a bunch of topics with thoughts on said topics. For the purpose of this article, we’re going to assume a ‘good or bad’ sort of scheme with it. A little background: Both commentators are white, male, mid-twenties. One’s a Christian, the other, a Gonzo. (Read: a Whatever. ) Both guys are my friends, and I’ve asked permission to reproduce this material.
They both asked me for my comments on the subjects below, and here it is, along with answer ratings and snarky comments. Your snarky comments are more than welcome in the comments section. Abortion – Poo: If women really want to have control over their own bodies, they should have enough control to keep their legs closed, or just accept the consequences. Duck: Damned straight! If you don't want kids, flush em. They're nothing more than parasitic nodes of flesh anyway.
I hear people say things like 'they have a right to live too! ' and bullshit like that, For fucks sakes, you dicksnacks, embryos are no more than lumps of pudge until they breath on their own, and are fully separate from the mother's body. Until then, she can do with them as she sees fit. It's just pre-emptive euthanasia. So get over it, it's not like you were aborted, and you should have been, so shut up and be grateful you dodged that bullet. ME – Poo’s answer is bullshit.
He’s not taking into account rape, whether it would be violent or coercion. Speaking of coercion, there is a lot going on. Boys need to be taught that it’s downright fucking evil to trick, beg, force, or whatever to get a girl to sleep with them. One could say that Poo’s answer is pretty sexist, considering the non-consequences a male has to go through in this situation. Also, he’s not directly commenting on the issue, just the crap around it. He gets a rating of F, for Flame on, readers!
Duck’s answer is an answer, despite the smatterings of ad hominums. His rating is a D+. My answer: Abortion is shitty, and for me there is no satisfactory yes or no answer. The one point that I can really stand behind is that it should not, under any circumstances, be illegal. The illegality of abortion would simply cause a lot of women to die. History on the subject relates horrific and painful deaths because women went to back alley clinics or tried to get rid of the baby themselves.
Would I get one? I doubt it. And I don’t think it’s a good idea. But it should never be illegal. Death Penalty – Poo: If it was up to me, i wouldn't allow the death penalty anywhere, but then again, i'd do everything i could to make serious offenders pay for the expenses they incur. Duck: You kill, you die.
It's just that simple. If you choose to take another person's life, when they pose no threat to you and have no chance to defend themselves, then you are a coward and you deserve to die. Me: Both guys give a satisfactory answer. Their ratings are A. My answer is a negatory for the death penalty. There are too many variables.
If you do a google on studies of the death penalties in the states, you will find that a little over 80% of executions are carried out on innocent people. That’s pretty damn unacceptable. Also, I think a person ought to think about the executioner and the society that condones execution. Basically, execution is state-sanctioned murder, and in the process of eliminating one murderer, you’re creating another. Two wrongs do not make a right. Prostitution - Poo: How can you justify sleeping with a woman you've only just met?
and degrading one of God's greatest gifts to humanity by paying for it? Duck: I think that it should be legalized and regulated by the government. That way, all the negative effects of the practice will be moderated if not removed completely. As for the morality of the act, what difference does it make. If the partners are consensual, then have fun folks. Just be safe.
Me – I like Poo’s way of taking the viewpoint of the john, but at the same time it makes his answer weaker because this is something that needs examination on both sides. B+ for both, because Duck did the same thing in reverse. My answer is a big NO to prostitution. However, the world as we know it does suck, and it’s going to be there unless some major and possibly inconceivable changes are made in society. I’m with the duck on this one – it does need to be regulated, I think, to move pimps out of their positions of power over these women. Also, with regulation there’d be medical help to be given where needed, and policing measures over illegal operations.
Not the best solution, but we’re not in the best sort of place here. Alcohol - Poo: Take responsibility for your actions. If you can't handle it, don't do it. Duck: Alcohol itself? Or the practice of being drunk? In and of itself, there is nothing inherently evil with alcohol.
Just have the willpower to be responsible. I like being drunk with my friends, but if I am, it's at home, where I don't have to drive anywhere, and it's when I have nothing that I need to do the next day. Be smart, idiots. Me- Good answers, fellas. A for you. My answer is that alcohol probably isn’t a good thing.
It’s just about the most useless drug there is, causing aaaaaaaaallll sorts of problems all over the place. However, it does seem that the alcohol brings out problems that are there already, so I’d have to say that drinking itself isn’t a problem, it’s how it’s used. Marijuana - Poo: I don't like anything that takes away one's control over their own body. Hmm.. guess that includes alcohol. dang. Duck: I personally see no problem with it, provided you don't become dependant on it.
Just don't do it around me, as I can't handle the smell. Me – Poo flakes out here, so gets a C-. Get off the fence, kiddo. Duck’s answer is okie doke, A for him. My answer is that I hate drugs, but I do not really understand why I do. Weed’s included in the hatreds of drugs thing.
My answer, I suspect, gets an F. Oh, yeah, duck, what’s wrong with dependence? You’re pretty dependant on oxygen, not to mention food, and, er, pranic energy. Other Drugs – Poo: Same. Or moreso, since a lot of them are even more harmful. Duck: Depends on the drug, but the sentiment remains the same. Be smart, don't let it take over, and have the will power to stop.
Me – Good answers, but if we’re strict we’d have to dock some points off Poo of his squeamishness earlier. We’re not that strict, though, So A for everyone. My answer is that I still hate drugs. HATE THEM. I think they’re useless, and horrid. I’m coming from a prejudiced place though, I had the benefit of being addicted to prescription drugs.
I have no idea why anyone would take any drugs for fucking fun. Gay marriage – Poo: Civil unions are fine, but why do gay people want to get married in a church, if that church doesn't support, or completely support their union? Duck: That is an oxymoron. Gays can't marry. Marriage is a contract taken between a man and a woman and witnessed by God, with His blessing. Marriage is a religious institution, and it should not be taken out of that context.
Unless one is truly committing to his/her partner, before God, one should not use the term marriage, not even hetros who get unions. As for the legal aspect, Civil Unions (whether hetro or homo) should not be seen any different than marriage in the eyes of the law. Me- Some more good answers, and I tend to agree. A for the boys. Illegal Immigrants – Poo: It's not like we earned the right to live in this country just by being born in it. I don't want criminals and bums coming here, but Canada isn't ours to keep for ourselves Duck: Kill them.
If they don't have the respect for this country to become citizens through the system that is set up for that very purpose, then they do not have the right to be here. And if they don't want to go back, then they should be killed. If Illegals are executed, then they won't be so eager to try to sneak in here. Me – I think the duck’s gone a bit postal on this one. He’s ignoring why a lot of folks become illegal immigrants in the first place – there’s not enough time for them go through the process of by-the-book immigration. Most immigrants are in themselves extenuating circumstance, and they’re coming here to get help.
The immigration system is also set up here in Canada to be selective. They want men, with education. C+ for you duck, and an A for Poo. As for me, well, it’s not like we don’t have any room here, but I don’t know a lot about what’s going on with the issues therein. Smoking – Poo: What's the point to it, anyways? spend money, kill yourself slowly, pollute the air, take money away from MY healthcare system; gee, what's the downside?
Duck: You're stupid, you're ugly, and you're not welcome around me while you smoke. You may be a nice person, but you know better than to smoke and yet you choose to do so anyway. And don't tell me you 'can't' quit. Don't be a pussy. Me- An A for everybody, and I agree. I hate smoking, it interferes with other people’s well being, and it’s gross.
Drunk Driving – Poo: I think that's basically attempted murder. I'm not sure what the punishment should be, but whatever it is, i'm sure it's not severe enough. Duck: If you get caught, you should be charged with attempted murder. Me – Ditto. Cloning – Poo: If God wanted more than one of you, he would have made more than one of you. And He does that sometimes, with twins, triplets, etc.
Duck: Hmm. For the purposes of medicine, I see no problem with it. But for the idea of making clone armies or giving yourself a new body to live in, that's just stupid. As for genetic manipulation, which I don't think would be the same thing, go for it. I cannot wait for the day when each generation is designed by the last and are grown in tanks and raised in crèches. Sterilize the populace and only allow procreation through the crèche.
That way it can be regulated and would eliminate many problems associated with reproduction. Teenage pregnancy, abortion, adoption; it would all be a thing of the past. Me- Okie doke on the answers, although at this point I’m wondering if the duck hasn’t been sniffing glue or something. A for the answers, and as for me, I don’t have any real strong feelings on the subject, either way. Racism – Poo: It seems pointless and stupid to differentiate between groups of people based on their appearance. that's a given, though.
I don't think this is really a tough question. Duck: A person should be judged on his/her character, not the colour of his/her skin. That is why I have a fundamental disagreeance with affirmative action. Me- An A for Poo, and a B- for duck – look up the purpose of affirmative action, will you? Pre-Martial Sex- Poo: I'm not sure if the sex itself is the problem, it's all the crap that happens afterwards. Sex isn't something you get to do casually, it's a special gift from God.
Duck: Who cares what you do? If it's consensual, then go for it. Just be prepared for the consequences. Be smart and be safe. Me- No problems with the answers here, A for both. As for me, I think weird shit happens to a lot of people who have sex casually.
I don’t exactly approve of it, it’s far too risky. I think that a person should be, at the very least, in a committed relationship. Religion – Poo: It bugs me that people's inability to understand their own language makes them think that religion is bad. U see the worst examples of religion and think they're all like that Duck: Don't get me started. What a crock of shit religion is. It is merely a tool that has been developed by the powers that be for controlling the masses and attempting to instill a sense of goodwill in mankind.
If there was really One True God who cared what happened to us, then religion would not have gone through such a wild evolution. Me- Valid answers, both. A. My answer is that religion is broken, just like everything else. It has its truly awesome and miraculous points, and also its evil and horrid points. I think that religion is too broad a topic for the ‘good or bad’ category, so I’m going to say ‘spoon’, and leave it at that.
The War in Iraq – Poo: everything that Saddam did wrong, has been done just as bad by another country. the war was all about oil. email me for more thoughts. Duck: Bomb the fuckers, but as a conquering power, treat the conquered with respect, or you sully your victory. No one likes a sore winner. Me- Both answers are satisfactory, although I can’t help but think that Duck’s missed the point there.
A is for answer. My answer is that war is war, and war is hell. War in general is something awful and evil. That goes for this war particularily. Bush – Poo: I guess he's trying his best. He's not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.
a lot of my thoughts about him are related to the war. Duck: I love bush. I wish that there was more bush on tv and in the media. Everyone says that sexuality is inappropriate subject matter, but I say to hell with them. Why would we want to make sex more taboo than violence? Oh wait, you mean Bush, as in the President of the USA.
Hmm, well, why didn't you say that. Me- F for Duck, although, hey sweet dodge there, fella. Poo’s is a satisfactory answer, but I feel compelled to comment that ‘not the brightest bulb on the tree’ is a glaring understatement. B-. My answer? At the risk of getting a visit from the secret service, I have to say he must be stopped.
Stopped. Downloading Music- Poo: Music is art, it should be available to the whole world. Everyone needs music, never mind wanting it. just don't resell it. Duck: If you burn a cd and then sell it, you are going to hell. Other than that, go for it.
It's not like you aren't buying less cds than you would normally. Me- Nice answers. An A for all. I agree. The powers that be said the same thing about blank tapes. The Legal Drinking Age – Poo: Dunno.
18, i guess. or 19. doesn't matter so much, now that i'm past it. i don't think it's a huge problem that our legal age is lower than the U.S.'s. Duck: 18. Until then, your body is still developing (one could argue that it is still even after the age of 18) and regular alcohol use would be detrimental. Plus, hopefully, the majority of people would be mature enough to drink responsibly by then, but there are thousands of drunks who can disprove that point.
Me- Ditto for marks and answers, for me I’d have to say that the legal drinking age thing is a load of crap. There really isn’t a need to have it as an offense, save that I’m sure it makes some asshole money somewhere. All the fines do is punish the parents, really, and I think by making it a legal issue it creates more of a problem. If any kid could buy beer, it wouldn’t be a big deal, and there would be no blowout on the 19th birthday, and no sense that it’s a taboo thing, and therefore not another tool for rebellious teens. Porn- Poo: I'm not sure i can say much about this.. it'd be sort of hypocritical:) but the whole objectifying women, damaging their self esteem, hurting them in any way, pisses me off. Duck: Love it.
Nothing wrong with it, provided that the actors (and I use the term loosely) are aware of what they are doing and choose to do it. If you feel shame for making porn or watching it, then don't, but don't you DARE to condemn those of us who don't have a problem with it. Me: Poo loses points for skirting the issue. Wuss. He gets a D, which might have been a C- if he didn’t stick on that bullshitty crap at the end. I disagree completely with the Duck, but hey, it’s a complete answer, but he adds the crap at the end, so B+.
As for me, porn might well be proof that we’re in Babylon. There’s nothing healthy about using people, and when you masturbate to an airbrushed girl who probably wouldn’t have gotten her fake tits if it weren’t for you and other losers like you whacking off, that’s exactly what you’re doing. That person in the photograph isn’t a person anymore, she is a means to your breathy, sticky end. I think there’s nothing wrong with masturbation, alone or with a friend. There is something distinctly wrong with the useage of porn. Not only does it do no justice to women, It makes the guys have a sense of acceptance that’s completely false – those girls wouldn’t piss on your gums if your teeth were on fire.
They don’t want to fuck you, they do not want to suck your dick, they do not want to be penetrated by your manhood. Using a porn is a reflection of something missing in your life, whether it’s acceptance from your girl, or rejection, or whatever. Re-enforcing these negativities is harmful to the porn consumer, and that’s all porn can ever offer. Suicide – Poo: Life is one of the greatest gifts God gave you, right up their with Salvation, and sex and all that. Don't throw it away, cuz there's always an alternative. Duck: If you don't have the courage to face the world, then you deserve to die.
No one wants you anyway, you pussy. But if you REALLY want to make a difference, show them that you can persevere. After all, dying's easy, it's living that's hard. Me – Both are answers, so A. for both. This is a topic that hits close to home. And despite the ratings for the answers, I think both answers are without thought or sense.
I am not condoning suicide. But I have dealt with this issue personally, and there are a few things I can say with conviction. First of all, leading up to suicide is a disease. Your brain does not function properly, so you might as well leave the ethics of the situation. You wouldn’t, say, ask an Alzheimer’s patient to remember to flush the toilet. By that same rationale, you can’t ask a suicidal person to give a wet slap about their own well being, or ask them politely to stop thinking about themselves.
And, well, guys, your reasoning sucks. Duck – Try and kill yourself, and then talk to me about cowardice. Poo- Ok, so you believe life is a gift from God. What makes you think that suicide isn’t also a gift to get out of this shitty existence? The Lord giveith, and the Lord takeith away, right? Some final thoughts - The winner is The Duck, with a GPA at 3.6, leading by only a beak to Poo, which was a manly 3.5.
I think they’re both morons, but I suspect they knew that already, hence their fear of giving real answers most of the time. Generally, I think the Poo came off as an after school special by using God as a shield to hide behind. And the Duck, well, I did ask you previously if you stood behind your answers, and you said yes – but some of your answers reeked of bullshitty deception. How can I and my dear readers take answers like “We should sterilize everyone…” as a serious reply? As for myself , did learn a thing or three from this venture. I learned that being called a coward hurts a lot, and I’m not entirely sure why.
I think I also may have discovered why Poo doesn’t have a girlfriend. Sexism is soooooo eighties, fella. I’ve got a lot of prejudices as well. Drugs and the discussion of the subject make me enraged. I don’t think clearly, and I get angry, and I want to stomp on things. But, inexplicably, drinking does not provoke this visceral reaction.
I also discovered don’t know much of anything. I do not keep up with current events, unless those events get urlLink Fark coverage. In short, I have come to the conclusion that I’m ignorant, and nasty. Self knowledge is very important. 
