  Ok. Kurt is possibly gonig to get about 2 grand from Student Loan, evidently, there was a mixup in our favor. He was also awarded a 2000 dollar bursary Rent is looming, might be able to pay it by using the aforementioned bursary, through the grace of The Powers That Awarded said bursary.
Waiting to get a check from mom, courtesy of co-op to cover car payment. I think that's it on the finances. Phoebe has regained her sight, figure it was blurred vision from her surgery, and she lost an ear. We haven't found it yet. Babysat yesterday, cleaned the Family's house, did their laundry, entertained their kids, baked bad tasting cookies, and all of this for 6/hr. Makes me appericiate Moms, most of the time, they don't get paid at all. Nonetheless, I did work my ass off for little renumeration. And that sucks. The job is good, and it is satisfying in that i can see the day's work completed. That does not suck. As soon as i get a better paying job, I'm going to leave, that sucks; the dad is a prat, so that makes it not suck so badly.
Is it just me, or does life seem to be unecessarily complicated? Also, Solace is having bad dreams similar to mine. We're both killing people a lot. No answers there, neither of us know where it's coming from. Not exactly worrisome, but makes one consdier carefully what one should eat before going to bed. We talked about Runes, you know, the ancient FUTHARK alphabet that a lot of modern languages come from. I've been in contact with runes since i was about 13. They've always been nice to ask advice of, offering consequences for asked-about actions. I had always assumed that this was a crude method of hearing whispers from the Divine, as a sort of conscience illustrating what i ought to do in a given situation.
The other thought was that it was me, a sort of higher me, one that knew consequences better than I did. A Platonist Jiminy Cricket, i guess. Kurt offered another thought, though.. that perhaps the runes' are evil, or simply not good, or whatever. This throws me for a loop. I mean, I haven't even used them for a long time, and my other dalliance is easily explained using psychology; the runes are not. So where am I now? I've always liked the ceramic, one of the runes is where R comes from, the rune is called Raido, and it means journey.
My sister's first letter is there too. The runes never acted like a voice in my head telling me to burn things, nor have they ever showed one particular destiny. What they had always done was show a call to action, and if the call to action was followed through, it showed the consequences of that action. Is that evil, or non good, or is it anything worth mentioning? is it the whispers i had taken them to be? Right now, my gut tells me that they are nothing worth mentioning, they never were, they were just a comforting toy, a glorified magic eight ball.
An adolecent sooky-blanket. But they worked, or my brain found connections that had no business being there. I still have them, largely unused, excepting on the occasions where i pick one up, and hope that it will be my first letter rune. They stay around like blind bear, or my wisdom teeth, or the book of fairy tales that used to facinate and frighten the shit out of me.
(The Fairytales are the complete book of Grimm - not for the faint hearted. ) I suppose, in the end, it doesn't largely matter where the info I was getting was coming from. If it was evil, good turned it round, and if it was good to begin with - good. The bottom line is that I don't need them any more to see the consequences of a particular action. Time to set aside childish things, i guess, but you don't have to throw them away. 
