  Ok, so, i want a family. Couple kids, boatloads of animals, yee haw, and all. But man, I just don't think I'm physically capable. Been taking on the care of Seth the wonder toddler. Great kid. We're talking easy going, virtually a self-entertaining unit, good mobility and communication skills, and a all-around beauty baby. But, he's heavy, and he smears food all over himself and anything close by, has the 2nd Most Grossest Poops Ever, and well, he's a toddler. Tie him up to a mad-scientist's energy device, and he could be the source of all of Hong Kong's electricity. Typical kid. But i was thinking tonight, as i changed his shitty ass, that i just might not have it into me to go through night feedings, teething, bumps and bruises,and all the other assorted stuff that i don't even KNOW about because i am not a mom. Kurt and i are talking ankle biters in four years, hopefully sooner, and, well, holy hell, I think it's got to be later. God. Mama said something off handedly tonight about 'when Seth was going through his sleep-for-two-hours-only period'. Picture that when your husband has to maintain his GPA, and you, well you need twelve hours sleep just to pick the infant up.
Ye gods! My heartfelt respect goes to ever mom and pop out there who's raising one of those weird little creatures. May your supply of caffeine and valium never run out. No work since monday. I'm doing the babysitting thing a few nights a week, but I'm starting to lose more and more faith in the 'full time job'. I knew it was not going to be steady work. I was ok with that. But it's been positively wretched since easter, no contact back from the head guy over at the ongoing project, and i feel left in bloody limbo again. I've got no choice now - I've got to call these people and ask them, politely to get me, and everyone else enough work to buy groceries, or pay rent, or something along those lines.
Met a cool girl down the Farmer's Market today, 18, did some home school stuff, nice as pie, and i think i may of did that whole spray-whilst-you-talk thing. You know, when your saliva jumps out, in a fine spray, upon another person? Yeah, that's me baby, although i think a stiff breeze might have spared the chickie poo from the spit shower. It's weird. Sometimes, I do all right in crowds. Never at first, but eventually i can come to a state where i can deal, speak coherently, and sometimes, just sometimes, I'm able to construct entire sentences. Today though, hoo boy wow. My brain could have been on mars, or maybe uranus. Anyways, the girl, who will be known henceforth as Mermaid, for no apparent reason, is going to be my new knitting pal, and another avid movie watcher, who enjoys culinary delights.
Sweet, I say. Survey question: At what point do you cut off friend potentials because of age differences? Finished reading the Sillmarilleillilllllllllion, and despite coming off like a textbook, having a googol of names that all read similarilillllly, there were some great stories in there. Great stories. And it had the effect of adding another layer to Middle-Earth, the legend, and well, everything about "The Hobbit" and "Lord of the Rings". I even re-read a few bits, and promptly jumped in to yet another slow and stately reading of the latter. You know, "The Hobbit" followed by the next three were the first set of novels i ever read, followed by "The Chronicles of Narnia". And I had two huge fairy tale books, the "Complete Brothers Grimm", and this beautiful book of fairy tales from around the world.
The latter is sitting in storage, in a cabin somewhere. I hope one day to find it again. I come by being a dork honestly, eh? Don't even get me stared on mythology... I got to go and read up on getting pet insurance now. Or sleep. Or read. Or dress and drag, and do the hula. Luau! 
