  Finished reading "Hotel New Hampshire" again. First time I read it, I told the owner of the book that I didn't read fiction, because, well, who wanted to read stuff that happens in real life? I was fifteen, and a voracious reader. I read fantasy and sci-fi, because that's what my dad read, and Dad taught me to read. First book I ever read was "The Hobbit", followed by the "Lord of the Rings", followed by "The Narnia Chronicles". Definitely set the beat that I've been dancing to ever since. It was on the beach, and I was fifteen, and this unearthly handsome lifeguard who was much older than me and seemingly infinitely wiser showed me that fiction was not only interesting, but vivid.
I still prefer fantasy, though. Fairy tales, happy endings, heroics. I think it's partially because of the way I see the novels I read; I picture them in cartoon. Fiction becomes like moving oil paintings, and the effect can be beautiful; but where it's at for me is always going to be where there's magic; sparkles, and glowing things and the unearthly nonglow of ring wraiths and other fell things.
But, Mike, where ever you're at now, thank you sincerely for "Hotel" and fiction. The beginnings of Something Slightly Ambitious are brewing. I got all funk with out the George Clinton goodness the other day when I came the realization that I am, in fact, a lazy ass. Kept on thinking about it, and, upon further discovery, saw that I may not be lazy after all; I just need to be able to work from home. Or in other people's homes, away from people, the public, and supervisory types. I've not gotten into what that means; I�m content with identifying what my problem is.
So, I am going to work from home. This is most likely going to be a slow process, as I will be learning everything along the way. And since my superstitions about revealing plans seem to be correct, I'm not going to get into details. (For evidence on this particular superstition, recall the disabilities fund. I still haven't heard anything from those people. But, if I had have kept my mouth shut...) Got Phoebe a carrier; it was the last one in the pet store, and it is ugly assed.
We're talking flowers, and a lot of burgundy. Hideous. But it'll do the job, and is accepted all over the frigging place as far as airlines are concerned. She doesn't like it very much. Kurt thinks we ought to throw a blanket over it, because she really seems to dig tent-like places. We only got it yesterday, though, I'm sure she'll realize it's a fun place to be. The press of bills are making it much harder for us to rest easy.
I keep on kicking myself with that lack-of-job thing, but Kurt reminded me of something today: The University gave Kurt the money to cover the shortfall because I wasn't working; they were even considering not helping when they found out I was looking for gainful employment. Without that, there would be no loan at all this year. Also, Alberta gave us the maximum amount of funds based on that same rationale. In order for us to break even I'd have to have a job that racks in about 20$ an hour/ 40 hrs a week. Not only do I lack the ability to do that, finding a job like that is pretty much impossible here. Unless, of course, one is skilled. What I can figure out is why there isn't help for me out there. Can't get welfare, Kurt's a student. Can't get disability, I haven't worked enough. So, sliding through the cracks is where we're at.
Could be worse fates, I know, but having an eviction notice (although it didn't mean anything), having the phone cut off, and the power threatening to go too, all in the space of four months is enough to keep me nice and safely crazy. I have to call the province, and find out if they're hiding help from me, and harass Case Worker and Side Kick.
It's intensely tiring. Did you know that to keep one prisoner in jail for 30 days costs 10 000 dollars? Maybe Jacen was on to something. Wise man says much And to him, I have to say "Fuck, buddy, whatever. " Some time in the future, I'd like to move on to limericks, but I can't seem to get past the opening line. I'm aware that they can start any way the lyricist wishes, but I'm forever stuck on "There once was a man". 
