  Ok, so I changed the layout. Yes, I am bad-ace, huh? The previous one was cool, with the changing colors and stuff, but it was hard to navigate the page using the scroll bar; something in the layout code made it effed up. If the purpose of my blog is to provide cheap entertainment to all of you, then so be it. There's nothing else to do in this one-horse town.
I want to write some big long post about something really cool that will generate a lot of comments (I like reader feedback! Comment more often!). However, I'm a little verklempt. This may be able to get you responding. onehopelessdream: i dont want you to masturbate sean Talk amongst yourselves. ........................................ So, did you hear the latest news? Roger Clemens has herpes. No, not really. Man, I have so much cleaning up to do today. I gotta get the goat poop out of the carpet, clean up all of the empty liquor bottles out of my sister's closet, scrub the throw-up off of the dining room ceiling, pick up all of the plastic cups from the floor, repair the 4' x 6' hole in the living room wall, reassemble the smashed television set, buy new and unslashed tires for both cars, and surgically re-attach the dog's left front leg.
And all of this is because of the wild kegger and other various alcohol parties I had when my parents were gone. Again, not really. But it really puts things into perspective, huh? The fact that I could have done a buncha crazy things like that, but didn't, gives you faith in me, right Mom and Dad? And anything wrong I may have done, like sold the dog into slavery, perhaps, now seems minor and not a big deal in comparison with those other atrocities.
But I think it's all gonna be okay- I got 32 shillings for that mutt; she'll do some good cotton pickin' for the rest of her days. I guess I oughta go clean the pool, though; there's a buncha stupid flowers in there from the trees around it. Then I must eat lunch, because I am famished. "Bring me the pool shed, for I am hungry! " God bless 
