  last time i tried to post, blogger went all buggy. i hate that. and just when i had some real good things to say too.
hope i remember what i said. here goes.. shakespeare's sonnet CXVI Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no!
it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. i first heard this sonnet in the movie version of jane austen's novel "sense and sensibility". i was touched then by the beautiful words and the emotion in it but i never really understood what it meant until now. love is an "ever-fixed mark". it cannot be altered or removed. my friends tell me to just get over him.
him that i loved with every fiber of my being. how can i? throw it away like a piece of trash. i can't. i will always, always love him. even if i never see him again. even if i end up spending the rest of my life with someone else. i will always, always love avel. he is an ever-fixed mark on my heart and soul. i've never been so sure of anything in my life.
i miss him everywhere everytime everyday in every way. i miss his kiss that never failed to make my knees go weak, his smile that always made my heart skip a beat, his smell that made me heady, his touch that gave me a fever, his embrace that made me feel so safe, his laugh that was like the sound of life itself, his face that was so beautiful to me, his hands that were the gentlest in the world, his cute ass that he's so self-conscious about, his love... i miss him so bad it hurts all the time.
it's never not there. i feel so bad that i gave up on him. i hurt him. i let him go. he has every right to never talk to me again. but i have every right to wait until he does. don't give up on me, love, just because i gave up on you. please. i'm just waiting. 
