  Unessential Current Song: "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," Elton John I don't know why Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road is my current song... it's going through my head. Sorry for the lack of updating. Haven't found the time. I got it up and done Friday, and the YDKJ Forum is now the lowest of my priorities.
It's all finished and together again, just waiting on the .com to be prepared. Next... one of the two biggest things on my mind at this time: the weekend. I don't know. I love my dad and want to see him happy, but he's getting married on Saturday, and I'm very uncomfortable with it. I like Chris, I really do; but there's just something about seeing my dad marry another woman, somebody that isn't my mom -- and furthermore, I'm his best man and, since there's no priest (it's only a ceremony), I'm reading his vows off. That's a major struggle right there, reading off vows from my dad to another woman... I'm not going to let him down, though.
I'm going to swallow my emotions and do it in a happy manner. But there's just inner hurt that I don't quite know how to deal with. I won't get into the second big thing now. I won't boast about tomorrow until I know what tomorrow brings. (Not tomorrow per se, but tomorrow as in, the future. ) I just feel unnecessary, unessential, that everything I'm striving for is in vain.
All the work I do, the hope I reserve, and the promising I make, it all feels like the wall's crumbled down and there's nothing to inspire me to pick up the pieces. I just feel like nothing I'm doing has any reason and that everything I understand is slipping away from me. Pray for me, I need it. 
