  I decided to remove the single post because it was poorly written when I was pissed of at some people for some thing that happened. Instead, i decided to replace it with a post that meant more to some people. Those "some people" being the girls who have asked me what I am looking for in a girl. I opened up askmen.com for the first time in awhile and noticed an article about "the girl next door" and I decided to use this as part of my entry because it helps describe some of the things that I cant explain so well when someone asks me the question.
The full article text can be found at urlLink http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_100/111_dating_tips.html . Most guys are attracted to the all-night, uber-party girl. But eventually, our focus shifts toward someone with whom we can settle down. Typically, we look for the wholesome, naturally pretty, more demure female who we've come to know as "the girl next door. " Somehow she embodies all of our more mature and tamer instincts: marriage, children and tender companionship.
The main difference in our thinking is that her qualities are just as important to us as her looks. This is something I agree with. Though most guys fear the words "marriage" and "children", we reach a point in our lives when we just cant keep up with the wild, ultra social type of girl. After years of virtually nonstop clubbing partying, we realize that there is more out there in the world to do.
It's hard to enjoy life if youre not concious for most of it. Yes, we still do enjoy going out and partying, but not as often. This change doesnt come at a certain age. For me, I just got worn out from all the crap GIRLS have put me through over the years. We get sick of the club and party girls. You can only have so many hook ups before sex loses its emotional meaning, so many guys at this point in life will often go out just to hang out with their friends. The crazy, wild party girl, who once was "the guys" dream girl, now is seen as unmanageable. Guys at this sort of turn around point stop looking at girls JUST for sex and begin looking at them from a potential dating viewpoint. The "wow, she has a nice rack, i'd bang her" changes to "wow, she has a rack, i'd bang her, but there's no way i'd date a girl like that. " Men's relationship attitude change as well. Before this point in a mans life, he feels like the world is his for the taking and doesnt want to be tied down by just one thing. Once this point comes men realize that just like anything else, its nice to have a girl to call his own.
When evaluating potential girls for a relationship, guys at this stage take into consideration every aspect of the girls personality and social interactions as well as her looks. Guys have all sorts of views about how their 'perfect woman' should act in every situation. Generally, guys don't want a girl that is overly socially active with guys, a girl that gets attention but doesnt thrive on it, and a girl who would have strong loyalties to her man.
The AskMen.com article lists qualities of the type of girl that guys at the settling down stage are seeking. There are so many characteristics of the girl-next-door type that qualify as "good" or virtuous. These are things we've come to look for in a woman, which earn the respect of our male sensitive side. She's a homebody . She cooks, cleans and is not afraid of being at home, helping out with chores. Plus, she's not a fan of clubbing. She thinks the nightclub scene consists of horny drunks and game players who don't live honestly. And after all the not-so-great game players you've dated, this is a refreshing, alluring and potentially life-altering change for your dating scenario. Bingo! Without a doubt, this is the type of girl you dont think you would ever have an issue trusting.
Someone settled is important especially if you've dated girls who seek large amounts of freedom while in relationships. She's nurturing and sweet. Unlike so many of the women you've dated who had militant stances against being nice to you simply because you were a man, she's understanding of your needs and is willing to take care of you when you're sick. Her sweet demeanor -- and knowing that what goes around comes around -- makes you want to be with her and take care of her in kind.
Reality Check:Guys have feelings too, and having a girl that can not only find them past the macho guy defenses, but can also tend to them, is important. She doesn't attract attention. She's "under the radar," so to speak. Guys won't hit on her everywhere you go; not because she's unattractive, but because she prefers to remain low-key, both in her appearance and her attitude. She's neither a flirt nor is she flashy; but she has that natural beauty that doesn't require coats of makeup.
If you didn't know it already, when it comes to having a girlfriend, guys hate other guys. It's not a matter of jealousy, its that we're guys and we know how many happy relationships we have screwed up. We are evil and we are aware that other guys are as well. She's predictable and safe. What you see is what you get. You'll always know where you stand with her, as well as where she stands on any given topic. There's no guesswork involved and that makes her a welcome change from all the women who've played head games with you before.
Again when it comes time to trust and have faith in a relationship, you need something constant day to day to trust in. Women with as many personalities as fingers should never be trusted. She's low maintenance. This is one of her best qualities. You won't have to constantly buy her jewelry and other such gifts to keep her interested. She even enjoys just slumming-it for a night in or out with you.
Jeans and a T-shirt are fashionable enough for a stroll around town. But here's the kicker: when the occasion calls for it, she dresses to the nines. At this stage guys want girls to look past the way we dress and the car we drive, because we know that the biggest scumbag can shop at Express for men. Girls that constantly worry about not being dressed up properly and are always worrying about how they look can become EXTREMELY annoying. When you're running to dunkin donuts, you shouldnt have to wait a half hour for your girl to do her makeup, ITS DUNKIN DONUTS!
She has family values. Because she comes from a solid family upbringing, she believes in the importance of family. If you ever want to be a dad, this is the woman you want as the mother of your children. Guys who want a family need a girl who they can see as a mother. She has a good personality. Although this is not something you'd want to hear about someone you're meeting on a blind date, the girl next door is easygoing and able to joke around with you about all kinds of topics.
You can go anywhere with her and never get annoyed. She doesn't complain, but she does speak her mind honestly and with respect for your feelings. Guys need a girl they can relate to and have a conversation with. Guys at this stage like to be able to have fun with their girl almost like she is one of his friends. In fact, she should be a friend and a whole lot more. Not being annoyed by a girl is important too, because a guy won't be able to settle down with someone he can't stand.
She's trustworthy and reliable. You can take her word to the bank. If she tells you she is going to do something or be somewhere, it's set in stone. You could give her your credit cards and never worry that she'll overspend. Now that's a headache you'll be glad to avoid. Again, theres that "T" word. If a guy wants to be long term with a girl, he has to be able to almost trust her with his life. Girls should learn to be honest no matter what! Now..This all sounds a bit idealistic. I am a bit idealistic, so thats probably why this article had such an appeal to me. So is there such a girl? If you find a girl like this, is it too good to be true? Are you being played? I've been there before..it SUCKS, your world ends up crashing down and you forget who you are for awhile....TEMPORARY INSANITY ensues.
A final quote from Askmen.com She might be playing you . The worst possible thing to discover is that this was all an act. She really is that wild child party girl who sucked you in with the "nice girl" facade, and all of a sudden, you're back playing the same relationship games that drove you to her in the first place. Theres what i'm looking for..there is your answer! Happy?
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