  I went to a women's seminar today with some fellow Pillar Bible Church sisters. It was really good. It was called "Idols of the Heart -- Learning to Long for God Alone" and the speaker was Elyse Fitzpatrick, who has written several books. It was eye-opening. I didn't think I was being idolatrous with my desire for a career, but it was, since I desired it more than desiring to know God.
Is God's loving kindness worth more than life? Well, if a gunman came up to you and said, "Deny Christ, or I will kill you. " Well, most Christians will refuse and die. But rarely is temptation that obvious or drastic. But when I'm facing my dwindling bank account, parental pressure (to get any job even if I don't like it as long as it makes a lot of money), and the general suckiness of being unemployed, can I say, "God's loving kindness is enough?
" Well, truthfully, no, I can't. I wish I could, and I'm praying that I could, but at this moment, I don't think I can say it. With that, I'm worried about the pending war with Iraq. I really wish we don't have to go to war. But I also know that Saddam Hussein needs to be deposed. And I'm not sure how we're going to do that without war.
If called to go to war, could I do it? I don't know. I could say for a just war I could, but there's no such thing. Feel free to drop me a line regarding these thoughts. My e-mail addy is on the left. 
