  What a waste of time. Why I got up this morning is beyond me. I thought Id wake up early. This, my last day of summer. The YMCA was only going to be open for two hours today, so I got there when they opened to make sure I got on a machine I like.
Stupid people posted at the door charging five bucks to get in! To ensure we do this again next year on a holiday. Sounds pretty pathetic, but I dont have five bucks. The travel difficulties wiped out my checking account (and then some). Im up and dressed and hopped up on pain killers so I can work hard, and I have to turn around and drive home. I wish I wasnt so angry so I could go back to sleep. Tension making my muscles spasm more than usual. I wish I could go for a run and hammer out my frustration on the pavement, but knowing what thatll do to my back convinces me to just sit here and eat it. Stored fuel for later eruptions of overwhelmed helplessness. My hormones are on high today; this is not the way to start out the day. I dont suppose most people let something this small upset them. Its all a too-delicate balance for me.
No reserves of strength to dip into. Guess I might as well eat breakfast and shower and pretend that didnt happen. When I own my own house, Ill build a special wall just for me to put my fist through when I want. Buy separate glassware and a backstop to hurl it at. And probably hurt my back throwing a tantrum. Cant I even act out without it worsening my lack of faculty? 
