  Worse. Everything is worse. I cant feel anymore. I missed my appointment today. I dont know how but I thought it was at 5 but it was 3.
I missed it. Ive never done that before ever. I cant talk about it. Im ruined tonight. No one can help me, and its me whos helping that be real. How could I have fumbled the time? Im so out of it. Ashamed for wasting his time. Ashamed for slinking back into rush hour traffic from downtown la jolla with no solutions. No more hope than when I woke up this morning. tomorrow its to the hospital with mom. I need help. 
