  Iran Claims Enriched Uranium Part of "Complete Breakfast" _______________________________________________ TEHRAN, IRAN- UN representatives reported over the weekend that they had discovered traces of enriched uranium at a regional power plant, damning evidence of a nascent nuclear program there. US and British officials immediately demanded sanctions against the oil-rich nation while other world leaders waited for an explanation. Iran's envoy to the International Atomic Energy Agency, Ali Akbar Salehi, says the whole issue is a big misunderstanding, insisting that the whole program is aimed at providing a proper breakfast for every Iranian child. "You discover evidence of enriched uranium and Westerners immediately jump to the conclusion that we're on the hunt for nuclear weapons," said Salehi. "We just happen to be in the process of producing corn flakes enriched with potassium, iron, and yes uranium.
It's part of a complete breakfast. " According to the Iranian FDA, this "complete breakfast" includes a slice of toast, a canister of mustard gas, and a glass of orange juice laced with weaponized anthrax. On Monday Iranian President Mohammad Khatami ate a bowl of the mysterious green cereal in front of reporters to underscore his enthusiasm with the project. "Mmmm," said Khatami. "Delicious and nutritious. " Meanwhile, the Americans don't appear to convinced. They have continued their call for immediate and harsh sanctions against the alternating-ally-and-foe in the US-led war on terror. "If the sanctions don't do anything, what are they going to do next, invade us or something? Yeah, because that worked out so well the last time you guys did that. " mused Khatami. State Department representatives are currently reviewing the tape for signs of sarcasm, hard to detect since that sort of mordancy is strictly forbidden in the Koran. Still, former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein's popularity ratings in the capital city are at their highest levels since two-for-one assassination day back in 1987. "That would be the best thing to happen in my political career ever," said Khatami. "In Mr. Bush's own words: Bring it on.
" In a country ravaged by decades of war and internal strife, children have for too long lost out on basic services. But now Iran's Ministry of Weapons Development and Child Welfare is out to prove that, at least when it comes to nutrition, it does not mess around. "We're proud to say that just one bowl of Khatami Flakes has more than %6,000 the daily recommended amount of enriched uranium," beamed Salehi. As suspicion continues to grow, Iran remains recalcitrant. "If you don't believe us, come have a look," said Khatami defiantly.
"I'm sure if there is anything incriminating here, your crack weapons inspectors are bound to find it. " Indeed, Iranian officials have agreed to IAEA inspections under accepted "Baghdad Rules" in which UN representatives much call ahead at least one hour prior to all surprise inspections. 
