  So, what if I dont want to go to bed tonight? I know its time, but maybe Im not ready to turn in! Goddamnit, Ive eaten marshmallow peeps this evening! Back off! So, Im hopped up on artificial Red #12 and a smart coating of granulated sugar (how novel of those folks at NewBorn Candies!). I could open fire on a crowd and have the whole country behind my alibi.
Twinkie defense? Ha! Try sugar coated marshmallow! Im tipsy. But Ive done a good job tonight finishing the rewrites of my Gilgamesh screenplay. Its fucking funny, you guys.
Im not used to writing humor, but I think I nailed some great bits of it in this thing. I hope so. I reread it and double over in laugher. But maybe Im not getting down on paper exactly whats in my minds eye to make me laugh like that. Even to normal folks, I think its funny. What I really want is for my teacher to vote for me to write the script for the whole story in lieu of our final.
Give me something to write in my own time over an in-class hand-atrophy maker. Not into Haytons tests, but I know I can impress her given the right venue to do it. Dim cat playing with a bottle cap on the computer chair mat. Like for an hour now. Just cause it makes a sound when it slides along the plastique. Little does he know he wont be the only kitty in this house by this time tomorrow.
Mark called. Things with his roommates came to a head tonight, and he needs to get out of there early. Good for him, but hes got a cat. A super cool cat who actually sits on your lap and is lovey. So yeah, I told him Id take his baby until he moves away to the east coast! Hopefully, hell let me adopt the SOB.
Hows Vato going to handle it though? Ill keep them separate until I know hes here to stay. Otherwise, I can foresee as much as realizing my cat will skin little Trey alive. Both are all black. Both have claws. Either could go undercover as the other.
But my blackie is a bitch, and I know it. He humps me, cutting me with his nails until I bleed. Oh, the things he could do to a cat that actually sleeps in a persons lap without begging for it. This comedian is on TV right now talking about womens orgasms. Whaaaaa? Well, thats what hes saying.
He doesnt get it. Says, If youre a woman trying to figure out men and you cant get it, chances are youre thinking too much. How sad to be a man and not get a real sense of how a woman works. How sad to be on the outside like that! And how sad that you spend that much time and energy getting into the pants of something you dont even understand! Thats Why ok, indulge me here thats why!...
The people of the world should all be gay! Yes, gay! Oh sure, procreate by arranged marriages. Marriage is crap anyway. Havent the straight contingent taught us as much? But sex; leave that to someone who understands the needs of your gender.
Huh? Am I right? Someone once taught me when I was young, learn to do it yourself, honey. If you dont know how to do it yourself, youll never get someone else to please you. Well, YEAH. Because when it comes down to it, if your batteries are low, youre biting your pillow tonight!
Only women know how to please women. even if you please the man first, theres still the obstacle of the man. How would it be if the world was set up to where you couldnt penetrate until a woman had come? Well? Well, the world would be gay, thats what. mmm just took a big bite of a peep.
Wish you were me? Or my dentist, I cant decipher your smile. Like brushing my teeth with Comet. Its all the same, yo. Ooh! The package tells me this is the hold on the 50th YEAR ANNIVERSARY!
of PEEPS being in existence! WOW! Youre going to go out now and collect your commemorative edition sponge-sugar partitions! Right? But today is the 70th anniversary of the abolition of prohibition in the US. (meanwhile the cat is snacking on the air until I realize he has a knot of my hair in his mouth and his throat  fixed it with a little tough-love intervention) so yeah, drunks bow down!
There should be drink specials about the land tonight, but you know the community is too inebriated to pay attention to matters of American history. Oh, I cant wait to see the look on this black cat face when theres a more loving cat under the same roof. Id adopt this cat if he let me. I mean it, hes Vato exactly but he has a shorter tail. And hes not as feisty. Who has coke?
No, sorry. That was only a joke. Im going to bed. 
