  here's the cast of characters, as drawn up by me. who else? Gilgamesh, Ruler of Uruk (James LeGros) Gilgamesh enjoys strong mead, violent encounters, forest logging, and puppies. Hes a vindictive, totalitarian ruler, yet democratic at heart when it comes to his adherence to the belief that all holes are created equal.
Enkidu, the Wildman (Keanu Reeves) Enkidu enjoys long walks through dewy meadows, being preened beside a glowing fire, and sensual lubricants applied liberally. Hes not too bright, but he makes up for his dimwittedness by virtue of his brute strength. Dont be misled by his soft side! Underneath all that silky fur is a throbbing hunk of man just waiting to be unleashed. Rar! Fire Good! Volpina, the Town Whore (Jennifer Coolidge) Volpina enjoys long, silky fur and dinner by candlelight. A social anthropologist in her spare time, she knows what boys like. With her big, sticky pink lips and pliable limbs, shell show you a good time. Boys, dont bother trying your wiles on this woman; shes been around. The Trapper (Don King) Always on the lookout for a profitable sparring, he sees gold bricks with the pairing of mighty Gilgamesh and his underdog discovery, Enkidu. Rather than bother his little mind with the fate of Ukuk, he focuses his attention on collecting the admission fee from the townspeople to see the big fight between the brutes. Daughter (Wanda Sykes) A shrewd mistress of the forest, theres no bullshit going to pass this check stand. She plays for the other team, and that being said has even less interest in being harassed by Gilgamesh.
Break out your wallet chains for the trappers daughter! Humbaba (Wayne Knight, a.k.a. NEWMAN on Seinfeld) Hi, Im Humbaba! Im a Pisces. I like Chihuahuas and Chinese Noodles! (shitty B-52s ripoff) Hes the Nature Divinity assigned by Enil to oversee the cedar forests where the gods live. He also enjoys gardening and feng shui. Utnapishtim (Charlton Heston) Utnapishtim survived the great flood sent down by Enil and still today he enjoys morning lapswims at his immortal palace within the realm of the Gods.
Hes an avid skier and spends his summers in the Hamptons. Ishtar (Heidi Fleiss) Ishtar is the goddess of love, procreation, and war. Living among throngs of both male and female prostitutes, she has a longstanding history of loving and leaving em. Hunky Gilgamesh catches her eye, but hes no breeder nor will he have any of someone with such a reputation. Vengeance and spite fuel her fire. Yall dont want to cross this bitch. 
