  Can I give another shot out to my pal, James Lileks? One day I'll pay him the tribute he deserves. Maybe in the form of another interpretive dance. It sounded like such a good idea to camp out in the bowels of a minivan with a laptop and write like madness incarnate in the dark. Yet my vision couldnt stand it, and instead my little retreat into some perverse suburban hell turned into an acutely focused headache behind my eyes. And apparently, my laptop isnt thrilled either.
What I managed to hammer out is staring me in the face, unable to transfer it to my desktop because my A:/ isnt working. Machines and me just arent jiving today. Ok, lately. A long day of being wildly angry for hours wore me out. Im too exhausted to rehash the blow-by-blow. Let it be sufficient to say that my car is minus a radiator at this hour, and the getting it over to the dealership in Oceanside took a smooth five hours of my day.
Not a happy girl, but I never snapped, not even in the privacy of my living room after another aggravating and fruitless phone call. A brief scream was all I indulged in. And why, look at me, model-citizen Mom driving around in a monstrous Chevy something-or-other. The perfect picture of sublimated rage. Comedy Central is running The Ref , an old gem of sardonic wit and cynical screaming about how life fucks you. I love Judy Davis.
Who can forget her entrance into Woody Allens flat in the opening scenes of Deconstructing Harry ? Ah, a picture of domestic harmony, this film. Nothing like a hostage situation to bring it all out into the open. Sadly, the flick seems to have been looked over in terms of box office returns. I suppose like most great comedies, its relegated to cult status, appreciated by a few but lost on the bulk of the public. Speaking of the public, I hate people.
Have I said that yet today? Seems I always say that. Only it never seems to make the stupid people disappear. Wont /someone/ finally realise theyre a waste of space and just step off that cliff ledge? Why more folks dont open fire on deserving a-holes is beyond me. Of course theres a small contingent out there WHO DOESNT BELIEVE I SAY THIS IS JEST.
So Ill state the obvious: No, I wont kill anyone this week . Not only did I run out of energy today digesting my own stomach with too much caustic anger and resultant acids. I forgot to eat again. I know, that sounds ridiculous, but I do it kind of a lot. I had a bagel with tomato at 9am. Then all the anger occupied my brain.
I went to the gym at 3pm to boil off the adrenaline. Came home, did some shit, went out to the library at five. I started to get dizzy and wasnt reading with the same retention capacity. So it dawns on me; Im starving!! Hyperbole aside, I thought Id stored up enough food drinking Gatorade and biting my nails. Who knew?
At least I capped off a big chunk of homework tonight. 8ish pages of I-can't-believe-this-is-academic blather detailing the agency of women in early American literature. Yet the research was invigorating. Lovely hours spent at the library over the past week. Man, thats a good place to spend some time. Not the schools library.
Its shamefully sparse. Not til the new library opens in Fall will I go to school for this stuff. I like the La Costa library. Brand new, empty Youll find me in the reference section. So much exclusivity tucked in among the stacks, the books youre not allowed to take with you. Something so concrete and stable about these things.
And the quiet. And the knowing too that no one but a dork will stumble upon my little makeshift hovel of a book nook. I love that I can learn about /anything/ I want. Connect with reliable sources. Even if I think theyre full of shit. The judgement is just waiting there for me to make, strangling writers with the tentacles of my layman brain if theres resistance to easy ingestion.
I dunno I have octopuses on the brain tonight for some reason. And yes, thats correct to use that plural derivation. Because vernacular is bueno. And people ignore other plurals all the time and I dont clobber them with their stupidity. Just to myself. Ever hear someone say data in the singular?
Its datum, true. But who says that without coupling the expression with a deflective gesture that says, Please dont break my glasses! I think Ive had enough. Ranting, rambling, mentally masturbating on the computer all bases covered. Got to prep my head for another big day tomorrow. Maybe buy some more beer to make it interesting. 
