  So  many  hours  sitting  in the sun! I was a good sister today and went to see my great, big brother graduate from UCSD. We got there at 1:30. And left at 5:30, dirty and exhausted. Me and Dad in concert, yelling at the mindless pedestrians and idiot drivers as we made our way out of the handicapped parking lot. Mom from the front seat: You know where you get it from, Charlotte.
I challenge any OCD folks in my audience to spend a year with my pops and not get angry with folks. (Beasties  Do It) I tried taking a picture of the Most Ridiculous Item of the Day (thanks, OReilly). But it didn't come out from the distance I took it from (a bit self-aware of the mental-case assumptions of others seeing a grown woman taking a picture of what seems to be out of the Stevie Wonder photo album). A tent was set up over a small pile of stadium seats. I noticed early on that, not only did it have a no smoking sign posted on the inner rim of the tent material, some 11 feet overhead. It had a bright orange EXIT sign posted at the edge.
Just in case someone happens to forget their proximity to the thousands of people just steps away that werent enclosed in said tent. Not enough ridiculousness? There was a fire extinguisher mounted under these signs. The crowd was a horrid fashion like watching a catwalk on acid. I tried to capture some of the worst bits, but the working girls had somewhere to go, and quick! Some I got.
Lady... just because everything you have on is a floral print doesn't mean that it matches. Shame on your family for not preventing this. Little was as offensive as the six or so idiot young women sitting behind our crew. Like, the one who sat directly behind me was barely clad in this primary color freak show of green and yellow. Yellow, the color of my pantyhose that plagued my dream life last night. Although my irritation wasnt given a proper opportunity for my impromptu oration about cheap women still pining for husbands in the University system Axia turns to me and says: And I could even tell you the color of her underwear if you like?
Nough said that these women were a festering thorn in my side for the duration of the ceremony. Speeches rendered as dialogues. These idiots seemed to take turns with their utterances of slow-minded commentary. Not a clause went unaddressed. Meanwhile, they were interrupting me! I was trying to read another story in the Sedaris book to make the trite, saccharine speeches tolerable.
Gawd! Show some respect! Im 100 pages into this, for Gods sake! And youre getting dangerously close to become the topic of his next short story! I gathered from the blather that the team they were there to cheer for was in the Psych dept. I thought Muir was real science?
Anyway So when we got close to the Psych depts announcement, I skipped out with moms keys to retrieve things in the car that Id left. (white tulips for my brother) I couldnt bear to endure the assault of their sorority cheer. I knew what was coming, and I wasnt altogether certain of my faculties in restraint from violence. And just as I suspected, I missed quite a headache. I heard all about it from Ax. When I returned, there was no sign of blond hair or cheap sex!
Good eye, Conrad! Uh, enough. I need to finish the PhotoShop task I set out on hours ago. Not that it takes very long but the posting is tedious. 
