  Ok, so maybe I am a little sad the stupid cat is dead. The house I dead without a living thing to accompany me. so much space, so little living matter. Granted, he was a feral beast. But I still got used to having him here. Even grew to understand the scars he gave me when I tried to pet him.
But hes gone. So I did what I always do when I lose someone. I went through the house and removed everything thats associated with the thing. I took his catbox and cleared it out, setting the plastic receptacle in the garage. Along with his scratching post. Then went through the house and collected his toys, putting them in a bag to give to my aunt who has a kitty (a super nice one at that).
yet it didnt settle me. It wasnt enough to convince me hes gone. I opened the pantry and saw the stacks of cat food. I cant very well throw that out too. so I took a can outside in case the brat comes back to find a shut door. It wont happen, but still its a gesture.
Maybe more for my ease than the cats. Like when Kerri dumped me. not out of spite but to save myself from painful reminders, I went through the place to gather her things. I wanted to give them back, drop them at her house when I knew she wouldnt be there, to let her have her things without the awkwardness of having to ask for them. Or for us to see each other. If I saw her even now, it would ruin me.
Her stuff It wasnt much. But then when she didnt return the favour, I was bummed. She has my favourite book ever. And my favourite DVD. A book of Raymond Carver stories and _Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf?_. who can live without that stuff?
It wouldnt take much to replace them , but the problem is she doesnt READ! Nor does she appreciate real films. The former bothers me more. Its /my/ copy. I assign meaning to that. Poor Vato.
The violent end Im sure he met. Its more or less my fault. I didnt like him. But I liked him enough to let him outside where he was happier. Until the other day, he would actually let me pet him when he was out there in the yard soaking up the sun. the risk didnt bother me, having him outside.
Just that he would let me love him when he was out there. Yet, theres more predators than dirt in my neighborhood. Hes so dead. Why does my right nipple hurt? Was this part of another party-related escapade that I dont remember? I dont remember taking my top off and being bitten.
Not this time anyway. Then again I forgot a few things that happened that night. Im glad the leather cuffs werent employed at least. Back to their hooks on the wall to gather dust until I find me another mistress. Can I give a shot out from my ladies in their 30s? (Ill even take 41 if its Kerri) Ladies: I cook like a pro, I clean like an OCD kid, and I have the hands of a hm well, my hands win prizes.
I dont know what I can liken them to. Ive dexterity, artistic competency. You can check references if youre not convinced. Come now throw me a bone (/your panties). Its been a whole two months now that Ive had to be celibate. Think of me as a kinked hose.
I get into trouble misdirecting my lust. Youre all fair game until Ive someone in my bed again. So Ive got Crumpets camera. She left it here. If I was a different kid (or maybe me at another age) Id take dirty pictures of myself and put them on her memory card. Hm.
Thats a good idea, dirtykins! Btw, LTWR girls you want a moniker for me? heres the one the boys gave me: 5-pack Charlotte. cause Ive always had one before I show. 
