  I rule. Its over, and apparently no one but me noticed how incredibly terrorized I was by the presentation I gave. Ive been nervous in front of a crowd before, but never have I had this reaction. Lets take a look I started out well. Casual enough, not just reading but making eye contact and adlibbing. Then came the meat of the presentation. Of course, I cant actually think while I read aloud, so I have no idea if I spoke English or what.
The audiences faces let me know they were following, interested even. Then the sweat started. A warm night in a stuffy room didnt help matters. Nor did the thick wool black- sweater I was wearing. I wiped my brow. So the thing was winding down to a close, and with the end of the second page I turned to the last. But I shuffled the first page to the middle of the stack, so when I turned I saw *another* full page in front of me. GULP- that wasnt the look of the final page the last time I looked. I hesitated and figured it out in time for it to go unnoticed, but I laugh about it now. Like a recurrent nightmare that Im soon to have. The Presentation that Never Ends!! (cue sound: screaming dame lifted from any B-horror movie) (is it redundant to say horror movie and B-movie together?
) So Im starting to think to myself, What if I stopped the presentation right now? Skipped a paragraph or two? I did that once in Moukhlis class The sweating is now well underway. The faintness starts setting in; faint like the last time I gave blood and went into a mini state of shock. And the nausea. Oh yes the vision becomes tinged with green in anticipation of the contents of my stomach about to appear on the notes in front of me.
this is the part of the presentation where I grasped the podium for support, both physically and to center my mind on something real. That was it. people asked questions, we let Chris answer for us (Anne and I are more afraid of actually speaking  we were both spent by the end of our 15 minutes). So it told us we did good. I know we did. Dawn acknowledged how much time we spent working on this, having seen us stay after last week together as well as overhearing our groups conversation about our last meeting together that lasted all day yesterday.
Its over and we did good. And most importantly, I stepped up to the plate in a graduate class and didnt shit my pants. I didnt have an anxiety attack (before the actual act), and I didnt loose any sleep. Bravo. Oh, and I thought critically and produced valuable insights. Now, I shall smoke a bowl and wet my whistle with vodka. As if I need a method to relax. 
