  See? Now I need to be doing that more often. I feel so much better after lifting a 30 pound barbell over and over, doing 200 sit-ups, 30 of cardio, lat pulls, shoulders lifting as much as some of the boys in there, but definitely outshining them by not resting in between sets and doing sets of situps instead.
I now have a goal; to get my arms back. I gained 5 pounds in the last 3 weeks since all the trauma, but if I get back into the workouts (even these gentle ones  and yes, this is a gentle one) Ill surely drop the excess without even trying. Its a way to get tough, to feel powerful, to be in control of something that affects my sense of self as well as my emotional wellbeing. A positive self-image and a fix of endorphins, and I cant lose. Well, it goes a long way, but its not the cure-all.
I have a mental picture of who I want to be, and Im going to achieve it. God knows I have the will power and discipline. I want to toughen up the outside, feel stronger in whatever form that takes. Im posting a weekly goal chart on the fridge. Nothing ridiculous, but small steps to concentrate on real achievements within my grasp. Im trying really hard here to get myself back on track, folks. 
