  Now, I wish I wouldnt get so fussy about those sorts of things. The baby shower was lots of fun. And no, nobody asked me any questions that required me to swallow hard and feel marginalized. About the only thing that irked me was hearing mom tell Kirstie, Youre part of the club now! Maybe I should have a sort of coming out party to celebrate my dealing with the world as a lesbian for ten years. Itll be ten years in August as far as coming out to my family. And just months earlier that I uttered a word to anyone at all. Do you think I could actually get people to show up? You think anyone in my immediate family would even acknowledge this little miracle as they would my pregnancy? Answer: No. I think my parents would be appalled that I even considered this a laudable feat. Tears in my eyes a little bit thinking about this. Taking nothing away from the wonderful news of my longtime friends celebrations, its just as hard to be a parent as it is to be queer. In completely different ways, of course. More queers kill themselves than do heterosexual parents.
But to cheer things up and move away from topics of loss and suicide, its a fabulously clear spring day. A smattering of brilliantly white clouds and a cool wind that is itself a clarifying force. Reminds me of my silent walks alone through the streets of Bolzano. A good day for a walk. Take Bryan to the Encinitas street fair. Participate in the world a bit. urlLink Pictures from the shower . 
