  Whens the last time you pounded your fists on someones door at 2am? Fucking dog up the street barking incessantly like they locked it out or something, barking away, waking me up, barking, barking, alarming my dog, bark, bark, out on the balcony twenty yards away, barking, now in the backyard wheres the poisoned steak robbers use in the movies? Id have thrashed that little piece of shit dog myself if only I could get my hands on it. Ill shut your fucking dog up for you.
Just let me borrow your shovel. I hate these neighbours! So mutherfucking righteous driving up our steep hill at 1o mph just to make a show of following the rules, causing my car to run high when Im stuck behind him. So I routinely pass the asshole, probably causing him a heart attack of powerlessness. My dad gives me a high-five for brazen retribution.
The way this dude controls his wife is a hot topic of gossip, rumours floating through the neighbourhood. Fucking yellow X-terra. Stupid stepford wife in her diesel Mercedes. Makes me want to do more than just leave a big mouthful of spit on each of their windshields as I walked back to my house. Entertaining wild fantasies of taking a baseball bat anything made of glass that they might own that was left out as carelessly as their dog. Juvenile delinquent behaviours like egg throwing or spray paint. Oh yeah, I left a nasty note, punctuated by one last thump at their front door.
And FINALLY now, the dog seems to have lost its desire to keep us all up. Lets see if my anger can fade enough for me to go back to sleep as well. Theyre /so/ going to hear from me tomorrow. Im going to find out their names (yes, they live right across the street from me and have for years, and I dont know any of them by name) and Im going to find out their phone number, and Im going to call them all night long the next time this happens. Fucking outrageous irresponsibility! Yes, Im Jim Conrads daughter. One day Im going on that killing spree, and it seems I have two stops right on my own block. 
