  Dude, somethings wrong with my site sometimes. The archives wont load; sometimes the page itself is lost.
Guess it doesnt matter to anyone but me (much like the contents themselves  oh, the irony). Plans to go out tonight. Trying desperately to peel myself off the carpet and pull myself together. A mixture of ennui and paranoia. I could go on to conclude that Im comfortable resting back into agoraphobia now that theres nothing really requiring me to leave the house, pushing me out the door with the threat of real trouble if I dont.
God, I cant believe how consistently I showed up to my classes this spring. Ive already run out of fun things to read over my exciting vacation time sitting at home in tears over this and that. David Sedaris stories about learning French. Lovely. Sam the Cat - Matthew Klams decent into becoming gay, only he cant see it.
Couldnt help myself the other day  I leant that one to Claudia. This time something meant for enjoyment, not with a mind for a subtext to scream out at her like so many other loaned materials. Unless of course Im poking fun at her love for me when shes supposed to be straight. Gosh, maybe that wasnt too cool after all. Fuck it. After all that, I deserve a manipulative upper hand every once in a while. Even if I dont realise it at the time (I can enjoy it now!). We both hate ourselves. Its all in good fun. See you at the bottom! we cheer. So I suppose theres little else to do but get started on the reading for my four summer school classes.
Stave off the sinking feeling that Im wasting my life just being still for a few days. My pride got the better of me today at the gym when someone noticed what I was reading. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Ha! No no! I swear! Its for a class on Childrens Literature. Really, I can read big-kid books too! (Gulp) I kept the pages wrapped around the book so no one saw me.
Which isnt altogether easy on the elliptical when every few minutes the pain pill Ive taken causes me to swoon a little, losing my balance. When I bought them all at B&N, I made a point to explain myself to the cashier about the class. Lest anyone think Im slow. Lest anyone suspect I have any children of my own. God forbid (and I believe that)  I almost took a baseball bat to my own head yesterday at the library when the smell of poopy pants and the shrill scream of a young one split open my head as I hurriedly searched for copies of Alice in Wonderland on video for a class presentation on comparing film versions.
Couldnt get out of there fast enough. Nope, none for me, thanks. Dont think Im on the right road to get pregnant anywho. God be blessed for latex being around while I was a teenager. And in case anyone needs a reason to swear off men Heres a lovely visual. So sorry again if anyone's eating at their computers. 
