  Finally!! Im sitting in my favourite black leather chair in front of a couple of open windows pondering my navel and getting my fill of fucking around on my new computer.
I know I should have called it a night long ago, but the buzz of projects is keeping me wired. I cant think of ending this playtime so early. I have class tomorrow. I have class, and I know I need to go. The only thing is I dont think Heather is going to be there to teach us tomorrow.
She has to give a deposition, something I know all too well about. So I think Im in the clear until later on, but its my goal to get up and show up for it anyway. Printing out pictures somehow saved by Chris. Old photos Ive taken along with another pile of pictures with friends. Makes me wish I had a better printer. Which is something Im seriously considering. Especially now that my brother gave me his old digital camera.
Why he got a new one, god only knows. This works wonderfully, and Ive already taken a picture or two of the workspace he constructed for me tonight. Pretty cool, eh? He bought me a brand new desk from Office Depot on his way up here with mom. Black and brown to match my chair and the impromptu table I put together earlier today. Aside from the wine boxes as furniture, the place looks super done up.
Ive even got the old desk in the other bedroom, and it fits perfectly. I could just sit here for hours and play around. Ill do so until the sleeping pills Ive been prescribed kick in. theyre just downer anti-depressants, but they do the job when Im feeling all cracked out with energy. Sucks not to be able just to shut it out on my own. I love feeling this energetic surge; it just doesnt help when I have things to do early in the morning.
So I thought I should write about this, but so far Ive pushed it away, back-burner style. I told you all that I went to see someone for psychological help last week. Someone at school through the universitys counseling network. Now that Im s-o-l with therapists for the money reason, I thought Id be a trooper and try once again to connect myself. Well, guess what I was told after being interviewd? It seems I have a lot of big problems that they cant help me with. And itd be best for me to seek long-term care rather than challenge these folks to help me. Turned away again. So I think its best I do what they say, although it sure isnt a pat on the back knowing they too think Im too much to take on.
You know, Im not that crazy when you think about it. Sure, when my psyches capacity for tumult reaches critical mass, Ive been known to do wildly impulsive things that complicate more than they deliver relief. But throw me a bone; I need anything I can get, not another boot in the butt. 
