  Hands are sore. Could it be from all the typing? The job never called me back like they said they would. Fuck it. Im over qualified as it is. Maybe they know Ill end up leaving for something better. Got an informational meeting about graduation to attend at school in an hour, so Id better wake up and shower already. But first my letter to the dean about what happened between me and Professor Asshole. In the interest of avoiding google searchability, Ill remove his name.
Enjoy! I realize this is coming at a late stage of the semester. However, I need to take action to withdraw from a class Im still enrolled in. I stopped attending ltwr336 just a few weeks into the term. My reason for this is complex and personally upsetting. The instructor, Prof Asshole, requested that I stop contributing so much to the class online discussions. He suggested that I quiet my insights and allow the less experienced students dictate the pace of the discussions. His opinion, as he communicated it to me, was that I was expecting too much out of my classmates and trying to turn the class into a more advanced course than it is. He requested that I stop posting more than the minimum requirement to the WebCT discussion board. In short, he wanted me silenced and to give in to reducing the class to the lowest common denominator. This intellectual insult was personally hurtful. This is a class I looked forward to more than any other this semester. In any semester. This is the first time a Queer Theory course has been offered at this university.
And being an officer in the LGBT student organization, I felt compelled to show my support. This class was a chance to belong at school in a way that queers dont typically experience. It meant far more than a three unit elective. I enrolled purely for the fun of it, fully aware that it would not count for any requirement towards graduation. I wanted to be there. I want representation to exist at our university. I discussed things with Professor Asshole in a meeting before our Friday class at the Starbucks on campus. Immediately after I sat down, he began to yell at me, drawing the attention of all who were around. I was humiliated in public as I tried to defend myself. His problem now was that I shared his request of silence with my fellow LGBT group members.
I didnt realize that hes the advisor for our group and is therefore a part of the listserv. Few in our group knew this; he was never involved in anything we did. He received my words of frustrated disappointment along with the rest of the group. And he was angry that I was talking about it. Professor Assholes teaching style was apparent from the first class meeting. His anger and bitterness came through so strongly, I left his classes feeling worn down. He would routinely cut students off mid-sentence, telling one student, your opinion is bullshit, when the student politely tried to contribute to the class discussion. He alienated me and others with his combative style. He told me I was trying to be mommy by defending this student, clearly angry that I called him on his inappropriate behavior. He labeled my reaction to his behavior as acting out, and turned a completely reasonable discussion with my friends into a personal attack.
Rather than rise above the situation like a professional, he made it very personal in his accusations. In a hostile tone, he ended his conversation telling me to write a book. At least this he seemed to realize was a bit too insulting, so he backtracked and rephrased it as encouragement. This was 30 minutes into the conversation and the point where he broke me down and I began to cry. I went ahead and attended class that day feeling stunned by the whole episode. When I returned home, I sent him a three-sentence email stating I would be dropping the class. This was the 13th of February; I have the email to confer with. I didnt tell him this, but the reason was clear in my mind.
What is the point of being in a class where I cant participate? I was crushed. The compromises he laid before me are unacceptable. Twice in the following week, I saw that he was checking my personal blog. Im able to see the referring source when people either find my site through a search engine or if they click on a link from an email account. I saw his name having come through his personal email account. I cant say for sure why he was doing this, but it worried me nonetheless. There are so many talented people in my department at CSUSM. We have professors who care about what they teach, who care about their students, and who understand and value their impact on society. Professor Asshole is not, in my opinion, representative of this. I want to continue to respect my teachers and continue to believe that they are some of the most important figures influencing who I am and who Im becoming. There simply isnt room for him within this picture. 
