  You know, its got to be the medication. I sat down on the big chair to do my reading when I was suddenly and without warning seized with exhaustion. I slinked upstairs and fell asleep in my bed with all my clothes on, staying there for three hours. Now, I got enough sleep last night. I even took a nap yesterday for two hours or more. Id had plenty of coffee and no alcohol yesterday to tire me.
So what gives? Respirdal and Elavil, I guess. I guess because I took a break from taking both, its now working as if I just started it. Im well on my way to finishing the Iliad, the first book of my exam prep. Well, of the two books I didnt finish. Gilgamesh I have a handle on.
I wonder what the test is going to look like. Glad I still have the weekend to study everything. And to go over examples of comitatus, pietas, and hospitality  surely the topic of essays. I got word from Kerri that shes feeling a need to back up and take another look at our friendship. I got a sense of it last night with all this talk about loss and death, crises in general that I dont know how to respond to outside of just listening. And too, I felt like I was clawing my way into her clothes the last two times we spent the night together.
Not so much feeling rejected as I did awkward. So when we got into bed, I decided just to go to sleep. She bolted out of bed this morning at seven. Dressed and bound to a coffee cup before I could even roll over and groan, I almost expected her to kiss my forehead and leave asap. It was only later this morning when I read her blog that I had any clear sense of what that was all about. Not the best communicative avenue to utilize, but I suppose Im the greatest offender in that respect.
I have to admit, I was little confused. I know we live in different worlds. We come from vastly different backgrounds, our age disparity is huge, our interests dont often coincide. She doesnt even eat, let alone drink. Theres not a lot that I do regularly (go out to fun restaurants, hit a party, cook for friends, talk about literature) that we can share. Movies are right on, but theres not a lot of connecting that can happen in silence.
Well, fuck it. I adore her, but the limitations are plainly visible. As they have been all along. Maybe shes right to take a step or two back. Maybe we ought not sleep together anymore. Maybe this is the opportunity Ive been hoping for to reinvest all of myself into my studies to pull out those As after all.
I wish I could talk to her about school at least, but even that isnt the point. Im voting for a hands-off approach. Shes the one backing up, so Ive got to let her make the next move. As for tonight, I aim to get pissed drunk. Because I can, and because I want to. Read into that as much as you like.
And no, I have no friends with whom I can bounce this off of. Thats why I blog, mes chs. 
