  So Im going to start running again. its settled my back should be able to handle it again, at least by now  a full year and a half since the big surgery. Along with that, it sounds like Bryan has his sights set on a woman. His self-confidence is so low, more or less manifest in his girth, hes not sure he has a leg to stand on to get her attention that way. So I offered to help. Were going to make a point of walking together with our cameras on Tuesdays in between my classes. I need the respite of a gentle workout, he needs the routine of getting out there and feeling good in his body. Im still a bit wiped out from the four days spent miserable in bed. Gathering up my sheets and shuttling them downstairs to the laundry facilities was enough to put me flat on my back for a minute or so to catch my breath.
I absolutely soaked my sheets in sweat so many times, they need a bleaching and the down comforter needs a washing as well. Shoot, even coughing makes me dizzy like I inhaled NO2. its been a while since Ive be so humbled by illness. Outside of my regular hangovers and smokers cough. So tonight is a make-up evening. Less tv, more cleaning to get my life in order.
Being so sick and being so all on my own equaled a mess of a house. Puke pans littering the floor and table tops. And all the rest that goes with trying to take care of myself without any help. One might assume that Id say here, I wish I lived with someone to help me during moments like this. But I dont. being alone relieved me of the guilt of having to depend on someone, of dependency, of exposing them to what I caught. I got by ok. And there was no turning on the faucet to mask the horrendous sound of my retching. I had mom close by, an easy seven digits away, to get advice from and soak up sympathy. I had the pharmacists phone number to verify that taking flu meds wouldnt interfere with my mental drugs. No problem. 
