  I came upstairs to catch up with the rants, but when I got up here and flipped on the telly, my mind changed. No, Im still going to rant; just now its going to be about different things! Ok  Good Try Gray Davis Team!! Just like youd expect, hes running and ad to try his hand at validating his conduct. And of course, hes banking on the general stupidity of his constituents. Why, he /was/ reelected! What fact could better prove that my fellow statesmen are morons? Ok, so the add is like, Governor Davis budget spending increased less during his regime [ok, ok:] during his term in office than all these former California governors.
Blah, blah, blah. The list ends with even Ronald Regan! Like, this is supposed to absolve him of guilt? Wait, dumbshit whats the question again? Increasing spending? How about looking at the ratio between state INCOME and monies spent!? An increased budget isnt the point. And Jesus Christ, want to look at the growth the state went through under Regan?
The budget increased back then because we could afford to spend!! Man, the way these guys go after votes makes me ashamed to be part of the target audience. Although then again, political ads arent meant for those who can actually think and formulate an opinion through independent research. Its for those who watch 22 minute sitcoms each night. Whose lives can be summed up in between commercial breaks. Ah, well. This is ending up being the perfect segue into the bitch Ive been saving up for about a week now. Question: What sucks worse than the crap aired on primetime network TV? The culture standing behind it! Its not so much how /bad/ this stuff is, its the worship of the audience. This faithful following drooling over each stunning episode of Temptation Island. The idiots that treat the death of John Ritter like a national tragedy!! Come on, folks. We all have a soft spot for the girls and Mr. Ropers nasty, horny wife.
But this is someone who entered our living rooms of old through the advent of Threes Company!!! Evaluate your worlds! This is /not/ a significant contribution to our culture. Jesus, I hear that Edward Said died this weekend, and the only place youd even hear about it is on an NPR newscast. So I almost feel like I need to watch some of this shit just so I know what Im whining about. Such a devastation to lose my access to Showtime and HBO.
But you know, I cant do it. This stuff is so awful. When I spent the extra money to actually have cable here at the new pad, it was a matter of rage-control driving me. ABC cant be the only background noise in my house. Id rather have constant coverage of natural disasters and political assassinations on CNN than watch an episode of canned laughter and atrocious comedy writing (should I say that in quotes?).
I do get it, folks. We project ourselves onto these public figures. Ritter is like the guy everyone knows who ends up dropping dead on the sidewalk at 55 as hes leaving work. We care because its as close to real as a lot of us get. But Christ! Its a shitty sitcom anyway! Raise your sights! Wow, my fury has dissipated. Must have been that really serious issue I wanted to get off my chest for days now, the weight just lifting right off. And here I was thinking it was the request of my newest ex-therapist to say goodbye properly that had me so upset!
Gee, thats nothing! BTW: are you kidding? How much more masochistic could I be, agreeing to do that? Nah, I think Id rather re-hospitalize myself with a sharp object than sit there and have to go through that again. That being the talk, the one where I have to sit there all composed and deal with losing another trusted connection. ooh, lord, saying those words just sent something rip through me. I cant do it, you guys. Ive lost too much in total to make it through.
Its not my last ditch effort to hold onto some power over her, my rejection to the offer/proposition. Truthfully, I really couldnt possibly share my grief with anyone for this being cast adrift again. Its big enough that at least Im left in disbelief that its happening again. If I shut it out, it can happen gradually over the next couple of months. Im not up for it all right now. 
