  what have you been doing today? i have been toilet spying. what?! no, not peeping at girls or something. i saw something truly amazing. i observed five men (with not too much hair on their heads, anything below isn't something i want to notice, thank you) going into the toilet to relieve their bladders.
now, you must understand that boys, male adolescents and men alike have to pull out this skin-and-muscle extension from their pants through a resealable (for lack of a better word) cavity on the pants where the two trouser legs meet. the device that "seals" the cavity is known as the zip. there have been countless cases of excruciating pain when a man seals the cavity and forgets something is hanging out. now having given you the gory and gruesome details, the nightmare is over, and it's time for another.
after this, most of us expect that as a sign of self-respect, you wash your hands thoroughly before allowing them to roam elsewhere. and out of the five men, none gave their hands the dignity of a proper soap washing (two gave their hands merely a very brief wash). and four of these men, dirty hands and all, started to run a slow and seemingly deliberate hand (palm + all five fingers of gruesome particles) across their faces. i am not shitting you. one even stood there for a minute rubbing his brows, and then adding yet another round of contamination to his face. i was a tad disappointed from the performance: he didn't dig his nose. now, of course, i don't happen to be the dirtiest (in another manner apart from touching your face after answering the call of Nature without washing your hands) soul in existance.
i just got curious while soaping my hands slowly... and emerged more than shocked. and now i decide it's an opportune time to let you know as well. muahahahaha. so be careful the next time your boyfriend emerges from the toilet and holds your hand / touches your face, hair or anything else you deem important (or anything--anything at all--more intimate than that. thank you, and you heard it first at channel "the bad things that men do". 
