  all about jeremius yes, however have i offended jeremius of the city of lights? i, caesium of rome, demand your ears, your eyes, and your three noses to be cut off by a blunt razor blade.
and then fetch my grapes. but seriously -- i almost cannot understand why jeremy never thought of the word "emmui" -- the feeling of extreme boredom when parted with your emu plush toy for more than ten seconds.
but as quintus arrius from the 1959 3-hour epic ben hur once said: "you have the spirit to fight back but the good sense to control it. your eyes are full of hate, Forty-Two. that's good. hate keeps a man alive. it gives him strength. " but ah, jeremy is like a plate of vermin, a community of feisty creepy crawlies mating on a piece of white ceramic. like fireworks that don't work and don't get retrenched (which is - aptly enough - a better way of describing your state of employment given the recent spate of events).
like ping pong balls and golf balls, jeremy bounces and reels off every blow from bumblebees and ignites his cheeks with the flames of shame. shame on you, vile, disgusting human! this benevolent emperor of yours may not be in the business of furnishing you with the most evil of death curses, but he does relish the act of physically extracting every little extention of your cold, shivering body with a pair of blunt scissors, an axe, and only a cup of tea at eleven.
for now, the emperor wishes to dispense you the honour of mumbling your final prayers very quickly in the last three seconds of your comfortable life. as a no good evil doing perverted slimeball. farewell! 
