  short entry here, but i wanted to post a little. i only had to urlLink return one christmas present this year but i didn't replace it with a similar item. what caught my eye was actually a book. a book i haven't read in a long time but i think i've mentioned it here before. i've been reading it since i got back. douglas adams the complete collection, the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy . it has all 6 of the stories in the series and is in fact just like the book i read quite a few years ago. back then the book belonged to An. now i have my own. and here i said this was going to be a short post.
i had to stop into the office today to drop off the on-call pager so i checked my work voicemails. there was one left by An. i don't know if you recall, but i urlLink moved my blog because of her and some things and haven't talked to her since. basically the message said that this was the only number she had for me and wanted to call and wish me a merry christmas.
she said she assumed i was up in idaho and that she hoped i was having a good time. now i don't know how to react to this. a part of me, and it may be a large part, is still mad, upset. another part was glad to hear from her. one part doesn't want to respond, to keep on ignoring her. the other part thinks that's childish. i don't know. i was pretty pissed off back then, the source for all this, and i'm not sure if i'm over it yet.
just thinking about it makes me mad. damnit! why?! ugh. i really hate losing a friend, especially one i considered my best. maybe that's why i got so mad. feeling like you've been wronged by a friend is one thing, but when its your best friend its a whole other feeling. i'd like to think that i was an adult. i'd like to think that i get past, get over things rather quickly. i'd like to think that i still had a best friend. i wish i knew what was holding me up. 
