  Been crazy these few days. Work, drink, sleep... and work again. Crazy days! Thought I saw Shell at Starlight. Nay.. should be the wrong person, as long as I am able to walk away I am fine. So many couples... maybe should not have taken up the job in the first place.
Well... 3 more weeks to go. It is nice to have the WRX. Quite a ride. And I thought I am the only crazy one to drive fast. What should I do with the money clocked in? Should get a new car?..
hmm.. perhaps should really get one WRX? Should just go for the tour that I wanted for so long... I hate to remember those dreams nowadays, those life long wishes, every single picture has her in it. Everytime I see her, that image just came back. Hate to do mental talk. Everyone has got to move on sometime... Am I the one destroying my own life or is she the one destroying me?
No matter what, I allowed the thoughts to do so... always going back to the basic in learning, knowing is one thing, doing it is another. How is it possible that after what she has done I still have feelings for her... I hope one day I can start to hate her... hate her for being selfish... hate for for going off... hate her for breaking all those promises... Yet, that is so childish. Dun think I can ever hate her... just gotta let time heal. Jia Jia finally came to the stage where she dun want to marry him, not that she dun love him, just waiting for him to be ready... 3 years she said.
Would love in absence last more than that? Will I still miss her after 3 years? Well... as long as I am out of her presence in every part of her life, she is happy... do it! So tired... should take a break from starlight tml. With hundreds and thousand changing hands every single night from Euro... no wonder people stop work to analyse football. With that little winning... temping to continue.
Jia Jia is correct... I am no longer that same Chee Keong that I was 3 months ago... neither is she. It is so good learning to be bad... living a wrong life before this. I need more than just a short term high. It is just a new beginning... 
