  - hollywood crumbles - listening for the Divine - last year's roommate Katie stopped by yesterday for a long catch-up. it was great to hear her infectious lefter, be regaled by her anecdotes & hear about her plans -- which are nebulous -- this occupational hazard of finding friends in your students -- it turns out -- means that you go through the "vocational" struggle a thousand times more than you (in this case me) already have... so Katie spent a year in Hollywood and found that the sheen faded quickly. Its been an interesting year for me -- because for years, i have spent so much of my time / energy writing-toward-hollywood -- and yet the sheen was deeply dulled by Katies experience -- and now my friend Gary's financier has backed out of his promised movie -- more darkness falls... i know that these are archtypal hollywood tales, but i felt ill-prepared to receive them on behalf of MY friends.
And unready for how much they would distress my own faraway - exotic - other - midwesterner's - sheen - over - hollywood.... I find it interesting that through such gut-punches to the "original dreams" -- some part of the "dream" usually stays intact -- possibly grows stronger. is that pride and stubbornness? -- or a trustworthy impulse -- For me -- my devotion to storytelling remains undiminished... Jan (THE Jan, from which Jaelyn's name is half-derived) is in from MN & had dinner with us & ended up crashing here when the thunderstorm started. She's just started working with a Spiritual Director -- something Lynn and I are very interested in -- This woman suggested that she start by LISTENING for God. And gave her a great word picture. And so -- of course -- I plied her (Jan) with my summer-long question: but HOW? HOW do we listen for God? Jan relayed that the woman suggested that the experience would be different for everyone -- some a palpable hearing or feeling or seeing.
Some through dreams or .... And suddenly a light came on for me. I do think that I hear God when WRITING. Ted called me back to journaling as a discipline earlier this summer when he visited. It was an awkward prophetic moment, as I suppose all friend - prophetic - moments - in - kitchens are -- but for the last month his words have been taking root in me, and when Jan said this -- it felt as if it came together for me. When I'm writing, I think I'm best at discernment, insight, elaboration. And I said in an earlier blog I hear God speak through the contours of my life, my story, but that doesn't seem as much an instance of divine INTERVENTION & PRESENCE-- which is really what I'm looking for -- special evidence in an de-magical-ized world.
I'm verging on the sort of blogging that would make Lynn blush because, as she so aptly puts it: "what kind of person would do that? Journal? and then show other people?! " Mist left behind from the fierce rains of the night is drifting over the trees all around our neighborhood. Its already 6:18 a.m., but it looks like it could be night -- a bright night -- or day -- a dark dark day. I love the in-betweens. peace~ 
