  You're reading way too deep into this. I didn't say that I never wanted you as friends, I just didn't want to be criticized for the things I've been doing, and I was getting that.
Especially from Rosie, unfortunately. I hope you remember your reaction at Lindsey's house on Friday. Because I sure as hell do. I've decided not to remove anyone, that was Leigh Anne's wish that there be no one but myself on here, and it would be foolish to adhere to it, considering she'll never find it. I really don't know what to find out of anyone anymore...I really want to see what's left after all that's happened so far. Perhaps last night's post was to test my real friends from the ones who really do use me and this plight as entertainment, and seeing as how I wasn't attacked directly, and in fact the matter at hand wasn't attacked, I really have found the ones that will stay. Not that that was my preliminary intention; I know this probably did cause a lot of damage, but I cannot apologize, I had to know. To understand me, you have to know that my world is made up of definites, and anything that goes against that will not work.
My fear of commitment and God, all because they are not definite. And the real me is a screaming little boy. He's locked away and huddled over and screaming his lungs out, he's cold and alone and he loves it that way, even though he hates it, because I could let that boy out but I am afraid to, because I don't know if he'll be the one to change from it. Plus the fact that the things he wants to show all of you and tell you that he's seen. No one would like what he sees, he envisions the world as innately evil, and truly, he is right, but he knows the depth of it. It scares me because the boy is cunning. He's something else...I could call him wicked but that's not what he is, he's been twisted by his thoughts.
He only comes out at my worst, he came out on the last post and did something that probably destabalized the people it was aimed at. But it's something he wants you to hear so that it will stop bothering him, it's bothering him that he could ever think that he was being blamed for something that isn't his fault. Don't expect an apology, that post wasn't pure malice. That was the reality in my head. To understand me, find me at my worst and learn. But never judge. 
