  It seems like it, she's still really tired though, and that never comes out on the other end well. Hmm but...maybe the Lindsey Reid prophecies came true and she just lost interest in me? I remembered yesterday when you said that a really long time ago...actually, I remember you saying that awhile before I met her, and I was like, "Hmm, pleasant...", not knowing what was going to come as a result.
Gr, what's with this residual Leigh Anne paranoia? I'm jumping from shadows in the middle of a sunny, empty field...I feel guilty about it, but honestly...how are you supposed to address something like that without making the other person jump at you, or feel guilty themselves, or generally just pull down your relationship in one way or another? And considering our present communications record....uhm...well. Sometimes I hear about all these other guys and I flip.
I hear that's what happens when you're dating a girl, all sorts of guys try to get up on your turf, so to speak. But jeezus. Like, one week, we had to cancel because of her sister coming over, and then the next day, when I was out of town, two guys come over to watch a movie...I was sort of like, "Well, alright..." and then , the thing with Reiners (sp?
) and yes, I know, I understand what happened, but it just kills me, it's all making me nuts. God, maybe it's just all this end-of-the-year anxiety? I guess this is why I'm going to a shrink tomorrow, it's gone from accentuating the negative every once in a while, to pretty much every chance I can get, and with everything, especially relationships (not just the b/f-g/f kind, either). God. So long as I can stop asking myself "What am I doing wrong?," I'll take whatever they want me to.
Am I doing something wrong? What the fuck. So hey, let's brighten the atmosphere with some lyrics from your favorite one-man band, who has been very busy as of late, of course. I haven't made one of these in aeons, but hey, what are BLogs for besides huge EMO posts? Here's a good one. "I wrote this one when I was really depressed. " It's called Apart and it's really different from stuff I'd priorly written, but a lot of this is, I've changed a bit since last year.
So here goes. I'm falling apart here Did you see the pieces? I wish I could feel this like you I hate the innocence that sleep gives A mask for all the traitors trying To quiet down their abuse And so long as I cover this Maybe you'll stand with me And we can just fake that This world is wrecking me All I've ever wanted Is to be perfect just like you And then maybe I'd know Why I hold this guilt that I do not own Why the sharpest blow crushes all of the bones Why are we falling apart?
Decepted by this insolence I wonder what I haven't got to yet I wonder how I could be so enamored To this fate, instead of one that lives I am surrounded by fakes and abandoners Turn their heads when the action won't benefit You have taught me that my every redemption Lives in this never-fade rift Why I hold this guilt that I do not own Why the sharpest blow crushes all the bones Why are we falling apart?
...and I'm pretty sure there was more, but hell if I know where the sheet is. There's a mount about 12,000 feet high of papers on my bed about now. Hmm. Somebody help me out here, I'll give you a cookie. 
