  Normal- I'm not sure if we'll ever get back to normal. We've seen the bottom of the bottomless pit and have wallowed about in it for a while. We've been scarred by it and marked as "different" because of it. Sure, maybe one day we might be able to survive the climb upwards and perhaps get a foot on a ledge long enough for us to peek inside normal for a bit. But actually breach the border of normal, the border so loved and protected by society against people like us? No, maybe we'll be able see into normal, and perhaps be seen by normal, but never again will we be part of normal. Once you're this far out of normal, you'll never be brought back in. Isn't that what is so great about being normal?
Seeing that there are people who aren't like us, and knowing that they are better than us for it? About half of the people who regularly come to this blog are normal, the other half obviously are not. I give everybody one chance to guess who's in and who's out. Every one of you will be able to give the right answer, and have given the right answer before, just like the rest of society will be able to do in the future.
You are still welcome in the circle of normal people- we have been excommunicated. You have to realize that we will never again be able to see eye to eye. There will always be that gap between us. Those of us not in that lovely little circle have to protect ourselves from it.
There are so many of you and so few of us- we could never stand and fight you, but together we are at least able to protect ourselves against the the brunt of your blows, those that you don't even mean to hit us with, and yet you do, for no other reason than you are still inside the circle and can't quite understand those of us who are outside of it. Hell, those of us outside can't even necessarily understand ourselves, let alone the others on the outside. We can understand them better than we can those on the inside, because some part of ourselves can relate to them. Very little inside of us can relate to you now. Maybe more of us as time goes by, but not right now. This is basically the same thing Josh said: "I'm too tired to really understand anything but depressed people.
" Yall are so busy with your own little problems that you can't take the time to see the rest of the world struggling; your problems are no bigger, and frankly, quite a bit smaller than the rest of the world's. Think about it: anyone who has the time to mull over the same miniscule problem for three freaking years, even when she's sitting on the solution that she's had the majority of the time because millions of people have given her the same advice, but she still doesn't take it because she's getting something out of having this problem, then YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS.
God gave you that gift for a reason, it's not one everyone has, so for Christ's sake, find someone who has way more than their share and help unburden them. Or find yourself a decent problem. I think the former would be the way to go on that one, but hey, it's your call. Congrats, that was all my response to Josh's second paragraph. On to the third and fourth: I'm right in there with Josh on this one (except the part about his catching a lot of shit from me- I was/am the one throwing it at him). We have been through hell, and aren't really all back yet. I'm not quite sure if we'll ever be all back, but that's another rant all together (see above and change a few words around). Point of that being, we have seen and experienced things that I wish to God no one else would ever have to experience. Moreover, we are sitting right on the brink of going back- it really could go either way. I'm probably just speaking for myself now, but I know that the smallest thing could completely put me right back where I was. Like last night, my mom said something about wanting me to do more around the house, and I completely broke down. So to go back to Josh's post, quit with the melodrama already. Everybody knows that's all it is anymore.
You have no more of my sympathy, you have no more advice, you have no more people to gripe to. I have had it with this situation, and I know Josh has too. You have a problem, yes. But it's not ours to fix, and we're not going to. We have given you more advice over the years than it should have ever taken to fix this problem.
You are getting something out of having this problem, and I no longer have any qualms about telling you what they are. You get the attention that you want more than anything, you get the melodrama you seem to thrive on, you get the feeling that things are bad and it's up to you to fix them- it satisfies your need to feel important, and you have your need to be needed fulfilled. That may be all great to you and everything, but you are more than burdening us with this. If this was something that lasted less than a week, we'd probably be right there with you. But it's not. Part of this is our fault for enabling you to keep this thing going. I assume you know what that is, otherwise I'll leave it for Josh to explain- I'm pretty sure he probably heard the same rants I did in the hospital. Quite frankly we've enabled every single person we know just about it to manipulate us and to put us in the position to carry not only our own problems, which are pretty damned heavy, but yours also- which honestly, are pretty light, but they add up quickly. You will only get rid of this problem when you want to, so nothing I say here will really change what's happening. But you do need to know that you have the means to solve this problem today- it's possible- or it can rot you from the inside out, but no longer do you have us to lean on.
I refuse to further enable you to take advantage of everything I have ever offered you: empathy, a listening ear which would listen to you ramble for hours on end, a place you could always turn to no matter how messy things got, and most of all a real friendship. I can't be any of this to you anymore until all this is solved- it's bringing me down too hard, too fast. Maybe when the disadvantages of this problem outweigh all the things you are getting out of it, you will have the motivation to solve the problem. What I am doing now is the exact opposite of enabling. I refuse to be part of this dysfunctional support system any longer. This is the point where I might used to apologize for what I was doing, but not now. Enabling a person to continue doing something this stupid is a curse I wouldn't wish on my enemies, and certainly do not wish upon you.
So when you have fixed this problem, I will be right here- nothing will have changed, but enabling you to put yourself, Josh, and me into a situation where you will keep going down the same road you're on now, and quite possibly trigger our problems to the point that we end up where we came from- that is just not something I am able nor willing to do right now. 
