  Ok, so I finally have enough energy to post a bit, but I'm not exactly in the best mood, but it's usually a trade-off, so whatever. First off, I agree 100% with Josh on just about everything except the whole mania bit, cause I'm not lucky enough to get that. (Good job for all of you who actually picked up on that bit of sarcasm. ) I'm tired of the whole Becca-Philip-Rosie situation too, and if I hear one more thing about it, I swear I will have a reason to go back to that hellhole they call a hospital.
Second thing, which Josh definitely already knows about: For the most part, the reason I went to the hospital is because I didn't feel emotion- God, I love intellectualization- but they broke my mask, so now I am a real bitch to just about everybody until I learn to actually control this stuff. I either don't feel at all or feel way too passionately; it's pretty much an all-or-nothing situation. I'm also completely self-centered and don't care about anybody but myself, with an exeption or two others thrown in occassionaly, so don't load me down with your problems yet. Wait until I can get my own problems dealt with first. It may take a while. Find someone else to dump the crap that no one will care about in 20 years on- but not Josh, he's got enough stuff to deal with between the two of us. (yes, Rosie, that DOES include you)Third, the reason I haven't actually talked to anybody but Abby and Josh yet is because I've got a freakin' social anxiety thing that won't go away, and quite frankly, Abby didn't make things too much better in that department.
Remind me to thank her later. I did finally make it to a restaurant today, which was a miracle, but all the same... Anyway, congratulations to anyone who had time to read this before I remember that I wrote this post and delete it. Then again, my memory is not so hot these days. These drugs have me fucked up [refer to Josh's post here] to an extreme. Welbutrin is making me insane, Trazadone is about to kill me, and I get a new one called Effexor here in the next week or so.
I'm jealous of the Trileptol- that is one amazing drug. Everybody but me got it- I almost did, but stupid Indukuri decided that it may not be the best thing for me, so I get Effexor, which is basically the same drug with worse side effects. Look them up sometime, they're really fun. Ok, now I'm rambling and the Trazadone has kicked in so these last few sentences have probably not been so coherent, but I don't really care. I'm going to bed. Oh, and Rosie, why are you showing people the blogs? Josh, if I haven't deleted this by tomorrow morning or so, you may want to do that before I really offend people. Of course, you'll get a big laugh out of it first. Oh well. Good night. 
