  You know I'm to the point of unfeeling when I got this e-mail from Becky. It's all been said but I honestly just feel like not talking right now becuase I don't think I can truly be nice for awhile. Hey. First off, nothing I say in this email is meant as hostility and what I say is an attempt at being respectful-I'm not sure if you'll agree, though. Next, I realize you've repeatedly told me a number of things. ex1: don't complain. ex2: you've said in the past month or so to tell michael the truth. ex3: a lot of people dislike me. Now, I honestly haven't thought any of it for reasons I'll keep to myself. (you don't need to know them and I don't wish to explain them. ) But it hasn't been until recently that I've actually weighed them with the type of measure that they deserve. (Plus, no one has been out right mean to me in a while, and I thought it was just another one of our fights.
) All I'm saying is "you won" so to speak. I'll rethink how I act and try not to complain, I'll try to be a lot nicer, and I already broke up with Michael. I know you don't respect me anymore and I haven't decided if that is truly such a bad thing. (De Nihilo nihil... a latin saying means from nothing comes nothing. ie, i can't screw something up that i don't have. ) All I know is that if other people are mad at me then something must be wrong.
I promise I'll try, and that's a promise I am making to you all. The only thing I'm asking of you is this: If I'm going to attempt to change my ways, I'm going to need to know everything that I need to change. I'm giving you a blank slate here... write down exactly what you dislike about me or what you think I ought to change in order to be a better person. If you don't tell me what to change, then I can't change anything. I'm not asking you to stop being mad at me. I'm not asking you to stop insulting me everytime you see me. I'm not asking you to stop making the comments to Mike. (As is I don't like anyone. I'm sick of the same outcome, and things will never change. Bf/Gf life doesn't matter. period. And I'm sick of skirting around like a little 6th grader in puppy love. ) So, basically, here's your chance.
You can insult me. You can laugh at me. You can tell people I like them, even if I don't, and I'm not going to do a thing about it. You can spread rumors about me. You can tell others lies about me. Fact is, I'm done being angry with everything. It's not worth it anymore. God gave us friends to cherish them and I didn't, so now's your chance to repay that wrong. I was wrong and all you have to do is tell me more of how so. I hope things can change between us, and I'll try to be the best person possible.
Sorry for not realizing it earlier. Bye. I just love how she accuses me of spreading rumors about her.....I love her....oh wait I don't. Smile all, Life's just peachy keen. *sarcasm* 
