  To break the silence (and because it's so funny) here's a really great joke that Scott will probably hate me for. >A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. >After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. >The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. >If I start to get nervous, I take a sip. " >So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. >Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door: >1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp. >2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
>3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. >4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. >5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
>6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C. >7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook. >8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him. >9.
When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass. >10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T." >11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body. " He did not say "Eat me" >12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry," >13.
The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God. >14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's. 
