  That would have been awesome. Hey, if you had done a striptease too like Catherine probly did, that ho. "YOU BASTARDS, I'll be the best damn secretary this side o' the Mississip! " Discharge dual Yosimite Sam pistols at any time during this segment.
Dude, I think that you would have made a great secretary, and um...I guess we could all pretend that you are, if you really really need that sort of consolation. But that's really up to you. :) Man. I wanted to see the speeches, too. And I'm not going to be there tomorrow and something great is going to happen.
Like, maybe Kelly is going to break down and confess that truly, deep down inside, she's a black-hearted bitch that wants nothing more than rampant debauchery all over the world, but at the very least, she likes to subtly screw with people's (self-pointing) grades. Have fun in the sun for me! And I'll be enjoying snails! Oh, and a chant tomorrow if I see you. But I'm telling you, if you didn't get one, no big. They're a bit overrated. 
