  talking is a blessing and a curse. blessing because i've so missed the banter. i love that we have somewhat moved beyond the 'superficial pleasantries' or my personal favorite: ""carefully chosen yet sincere inquiries.
" i love remembering that we can still talk open and honestly. i love laughing again by something we're talking about. i just love having my friend back. but it's a curse. it's a curse because all i want to do is cry out that i dont want to just chit chat. that i want more. that i havent stopped wanting more since day one. it's a curse because i want the friendship back, and as much as i want it back, i dont know if i can ever forget and go back to just being friends.
it's a curse because i havent stopped loving. not one bit. not in the midst of such anger, of such bitterness, of such...resignation, i havent stopped at all. how in the world am i gonna get over this? and how long is it gonna take? 
