  Well...uh...what should I talk about...for the past 5 days I've been in Montauk. If you didn't know already, every year I go to Montauk with my cousins. So, on our way there, we stopped in some market place near the Hamptons and I acted like I was from England with Kate and Brittany. Then we arrived in Montauk, went to this little restaurant for lunch and I asked the waitress about Camp Hero (which I saw the last day of Montauk) and asked about all the secret shit going on around there and she denied it... but she said it does exist.
Then we arrived at Wavecrest where we got our rooms and unpacked. The first day was boring and we didn't really do anything but sit around. Britt and I went to the beach for a few minutes, I jumped in the ocean with my clothes on...couldn't resist, those waves kick BUTTOX! The second day was normal... except for the raging seagulls which made Britt and I die of laughter. Well you see we were eating in the morning (what the hell, who says that?? ?...breakfast) at my place, and there's a picture on the wall of a seagull screaming into the sky with its wings back in the air.
So I show it to Britt and explain that the seagull did that earlier in the morning when I fed it whoppers. We both turn around and see the seagull charge up its roar by putting its head between its legs and then it throws its head up in the sky and opens its huge mouth and yelps and then walks away yelping. WA WA WA! WAWA WA!!! That was the funniest part of Montauk for me. The next day, Thursday, the Troianos (my other cousins) came and I hung out with awesome Dan and Chris the whole day making fun of everyone around us (obviously behind their back).
Last year we messed with the spanish cleaning ladies with walkie talkies but their frequency this year is 69 and ours don't go that high. But we got alot of funny people that talked to us, like one boy who spotted me on the beach and said "You're the one in the red" and it was freaky knowing he knew where I was. I never found out who that kid was but this other dude came in out of nowhere and said "Room 666" when Alison asked Jennifer (really Britt) what room number she was. Ok so back to the making fun of people. There was this one lady that looked like a toad because she was old and huge and she floated in the middle of the pool with gloves on her hands and feet. She was really nice though so we were kind to her and the next day we unbelievably saw her at a restaurant "Navy Road" the next night. Ok then there was this other group of retards who were either black or spanish. They were all young and their parents were white and old, obviously an adoption clinic thingy magiggy.
Gettin' jiggy with it? They all freakin followed me, especially this girl Hana who was around 7 and trying to teach me safety rules of the pool, I'll get back to that later. But Dan, Chris and I made fun of this black girl with huge tits and looked like Michael Jackson.
I was dared to crash into her tits but ya know, that would be cruel. Then there were these old lesbians that we named Tortous and Toad The Second. Toad II pissed us off my giving us the stink eye and running across the pool with a cruel face. I think she didn't like us because she heard our perverted mouths. Us 3 boyyzzz walked down the beach, and Dan you never went into the WATER!!! )= This annoying kid that's friends with the Murphy's (my cousins) named Joe annoyed the shit outa us 3 boys. Ya and since there was so many people, 4 families (Ralphi and Matthew also {even know their awesome})... we couldn't go out to dinner. Bullshit! That pissed everyone off. Uh...bonfire at night...marshmallows, Troianos left ***ULTRA )=*** and I stayed up till 1 watching the fire with Billy, Andrea (Billy's girlfriend), Kate and Britt. I think it was 1...who knows. The next day was depressing concidering it was just us and the Murphy's again but it's still cool, Britt and Kate are fun, just that it's more fun when there's more cousins than just 2.
Well this day was definetly torture, concidering that damn retard Hana freaking kept following me again. She even tried to make friends with my mom. Then her little brother who looks like Sally's creator in the wheel chair from Nightmare before Christmas, attacked me and said "Gotcha! " He did the same to Britt also... uh... ya annoying as hell, so we tried to avoid them as much as possible.
Ok so on Friday night, we went to Navy Road and that's when we saw Toad with her husband. Billy kept saying "That's a HUGE BITCH! " it was great, and we'd keep replacing bitch with other words. I put asparagus in my teeth and asked everyone if there was anything in my teeth. Um...what else, I made silly faces to make Kate and Brittany crack up...uh... damnit what else was funny, I dunno but the damn mozzerella sticks shot hot juice all over me and weren't even completely filled with cheese, RATED 0 STARS BY THOMAS H GRIMALDI. Then when leaving, I yelled out "THATS A HUGE BITCH" into the kitchen. This was the same restaurant as last year's when the gay owner asked my dad if he needed assistance on urinating.
0=!!! Then we all watched Superstar back at Grandma's. Finally today, Saturday we packed up, went to the beach and pool for the last time, said goodbye to great legendary pool keeper for the 6th time??? and then went to Gosman's to shop. That was fun, we ate and shopped, but forgot shopping, the eating part was the fun part. Ice cream and hamburgers with zippers. My grammy bought me a Montauk t-shirt and right now I have no clue where it is, hope grandma doesn't still have it, wait no I put it in my mom's bag!!! A few years ago the Murphy's lost like $200 worth of clothing at Montauk...very dissapointing and very odd. Oh yes, and grammy this year was very depressed and didn't have any fun at all, she's sad because she's old and not able to do certain things she used to be able to do... such as be the best runner on her block. YA RIGHT!!! PSH!!! OK FINALLY, we stopped at John's Homemade place with we ate these overated hamburgers.
This guy on my dad's softball team told him they were great and that he used to go there like every day after work or something, so my dad decided to take his advice and get some, hamburgers are hamburgers...they were normal...nothing amazing. Then we arrived back home (= and hopefully next year we will go somewhere better than Wavecrest, we're planning something like a cruise or Florida or a house in Virginia...we don't know yet. JESUS THAT WAS FREAKING LONG!!! Ok that's all, now I gotta sign up for this Long Island Drum Center Giveaway contest. Also, I'm watching my sister as my parents party for Nick A's bday down the road... OK BYE!!
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