  Hello my name is Paris, and I need a reality check When I was younger, I used to think that you could do whatever you wanted no matter what, as long has you had enough courage and determination, your dreams would come true. These days I can't help but think that maybe we don't have all that control over our lives that I thought we had as a young girl.
I am not trying to be negative, really I am not, but due to some circumstances over the last 10 years, I have come to realize that a lot of our live changes and choices all lie in the hands of fate, destiny and the man above. In certain instances I have seen something I had thoroughly planned out turn in the opposite direction only to have something fun turn into a disaster. I have planned on going certain places at certain times, only to end up in a different location, about 3 hours late.
I have planned on enjoying a day at the beach, tanning my little butt off, and returning to the city just in time to watch the sunset over my house while I sat on the porch with friends drinking, but only to be home nearly after midnight due to an accident on the highway, my accident, where I totaled the car I planned on going cross country in the next summer. I had to get a new car, leaving me penniless and living paycheck to paycheck, leaving me no choice but to cancel the cross country trip and spend the summer working long hours on hot summer days.
It was sometime that year that it finally hit me that I don't have control over anything and that everything is based on fate. This past weekend I saw an old friend of mine at a bar. I haven't seen her in over 4 years. I lost contact with her, well no, she actually lost contact with me. Either way, hadn't spoken to her or seen her or heard anything about her in awhile. Just last week while writing out my Christmas cards I came across her address in my address book and thought about sending her yet another card, just to let her know I was still thinking of her.
And then it happen, I saw her. We both didn't recognize each other at first, but soon after we were talking like two best friends that didn't have 4 years of no contact between them. Later I wondered if this meant anything. If things do really happen for a reason, what was the reason for this? Why did I see her this weekend? Why did I decide to go out instead of staying home? What meaning did this have in the rest of my life?
I don't know the answer and I don't even know if this had a particular meaning. All I know is that if I really do have no control and have no say in the way things are going to be, I really hope destiny guides me to have urlLink "Trouble" by Coldplay playing in the background when I go. 
