  Calm.....cool.....time to stir minds How many of you are fully commited in a relationship right now? How many people can wake up and say " wow, somebody loves me"?. Well, here is something to make some people think and maybe evenchange just a little.
Normally, I would write every detailed nook and cranny " about why I am feeling this way. Since I have sooooooo much repect for some things, I will remain silent. Yet, I will pose some hypothetical's for you. I have been in many relationships and the majority of them have gone south. I don't mean an excellent fun filled vacation neither. I mean straight to the brimstone depths of hell. Realtionships have proved difficult and maybe almost impossible for me. It has come to this point, within a year or two when I do decide to date or whatever, I will give a fair warning, I am not good at relationships. I tend to get scared several months into them and run like a coward with a yellow stripe down my back. Funny thing is, I have alawys maintained an excellent friendship and course of cordialty with the majority of my ex's.
Some have even become my best friends of sorts. Except for that mentally challenged fool ecuadorian kettle of confused emotions that I actually cut off recently. Why can't some people be friends after the breakup??? I pose this question to female and males alike?? I have no qualms nor dissention after a relationship to put everything behind me. Some people find that too hard. Some people think that is not fair. Some think that it is selfish. THe most hurtful words that anyone ever told me when I was breaking up with them were " if we are not together, then what do you want me around for ?
" I couldn't answer then I could answer now. When you have family you have support. When you have friends, you have a group that will push you. When you have someone that has the potential of becoming your shoulder, your ear, your life. That is more important then anything else that I could see. Thing is, how can you not be with someone you were with and have them be so important in your life?
I don't know, if you have the answer, let me know. My life is very complicated right now and the only reason why it is like this is because I made it so. I have made sacrifices in the name of " search ". I hope that my search this time will be a right one. If I fucked up, I wouldn't give much a chance after it. Well, short blog, Peace, Love, Take care Fish >)))"> 
