  I say......... My condolences to my friends and family which have lost loves one's in the September 11, 2001 tragedy. Back to my life........ Today, I have sooo many things in my head that I want to write about. I actually was ready to write this whole novel on the " Latin Kings ".
Then, I thought about it, I won't and refuse to give them any room on my blogger. So, here is a list of what I would like to write about sex Why do we always have to use the bathroom at the worst times? Mouth farts What really freaks me out Should I go through my idea of getting a vasectomy? Well.....
I am in one of those funny retarded moods so I will pick what will make me look like a fool. I have the weakest buttcheeks in NYC!! I admit it. I could be laughing and joking around , but, when I get an " attack ". Direct me to the nearest bathroom!!!! Am I going to be picky and say, " oh no, I am not using that bathroom "?? ?, I am going to use whatever facility my fat round ass fits in.
There has been times where I am doing the " dreaded " dance on my way to the bathroom. You know what I am talking about. The crossing your legs over and over again and the bouncing up and down. Then, the closer you get to your apartment, your body plays this really mean trick and doubles the intensity. I have ran many read Lights at speeds "mach one " to get to a bathroom. I have done the " Carl Lewis" to my building. You start opening the door ( You can't find the key ), you swing the door open!!!!!! Throw the keys on the ground....... coat on floor, pants on floor. The trail from the door to the bathroom is everything from hat to socks. Then you get to the bathroom and the biggest relief in the world is a " plop " away.
Then, it is just gas. Man, I want to kill myself sometimes. The body is the most comedic instrument known. When you have to go, no warning at all. It just hits you. When you let a little " squeef " out, you shit the hell out of your drawers. It runs all down your legs, you start crying, your social life is thrown to hell. Uh.... Wait, I am not saying that has happened to me but I am just saying. Like if no one has ever had " un accidente "!!!! Please, we are all between 25 and 40. Wait until 70 comes around, shitting in your pants well be a daily ritual.
Hey, if I have a home attendent and she is getting 30 bucks and hour to take care of me, she is going TO EARN THAT MONEY!!!!!!! Would I let a home attendent wipe my butt?? Man, let me think. I am 70 years old, no action sexually in years, gets to wiping!!!!!!! I have issues... Peace, Love, Pork Chops Fish 
