  Aw, how sad. According to Time , "[t]hose slim, wine-drinking, chain-smoking Europeans are laughing at us [Americans]. " But then there's that gross low-carbohydrate thing going around, making it now fashionable to eat a pizza composed of nothing but mozzarella, sauce, and toppings. So when you drop over dead from a "major cardiac event", I'll laugh. Yes, I'll laugh just as hard as those quasi-sober but very thin (and isn't that what really matters? ) Europeans. 
